BlackCrypt's Blackhole

Kicked out of school for a puffy shirt.

2007-04-11T23:48:00.000-04:00

I swear I am gonna start a Sock Lord religion

Student punished for spaghetti beliefs

A student has been suspended from school in America for coming to class dressed as a pirate.

But the disciplinary action has provoked controversy – because the student says that the ban violates his rights, as the pirate costume is part of his religion.

Bryan Killian says that he follows the Pastafarian religion, and that as a crucial part of his faith, he must wear 'full pirate regalia' as prescribed in the holy texts of Pastafarianism.

The school, however, say that his pirate garb was disruptive.

Pastafarians follow the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pictured), and believe that the world was created by the touch of his noodly appendage. Furthermore, they acknowledge pirates as being 'absolute divine beings', and stress that the worldwide decline in the number of pirates has directly led to global warming.

Pastafarianism gained wide attention when its key prophet, Bobby Henderson, wrote to the Kansas School Board during the height of the controversy over 'Intelligent Design' being taught in science classes. His letter, also published on his website, demanded equal time be given to the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as was given to ID and evolutionary theory.

Since then, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has gained countless followers worldwide, although there are those who remain spagnostic.

The school, in North Buncombe, North Carolina, remains adamant that their decision to suspend Killian for a day has nothing to do with his religion, and quite a lot to do with his repeated refusal to heed warnings against wearing pirate outfits.

You put your weed in there man!!!!

2007-04-10T20:32:00.000-04:00

I bet next time, she stashes it a little deeper!

Drugs smuggled in vibrator

A Ukrainian woman was arrested after customs officers caught her trying to smuggle drugs inside a vibrator.

Svetlana Ivanyshka, 26, was asked to open her suitcases at Kiev airport after guards got a tip off that a young woman on her flight from New Delhi was carrying drugs.

They found a bag of hashish stuffed in the sex toy's battery compartment.

A border police spokesman said: "She told us that she had put the drugs in a vibrator because she thought no one would ever think of touching it, let alone looking inside it.

"She was obviously unaware of how thorough our officers are in their searches."

The choice of the Saved Generation!

2007-04-09T22:51:00.000-04:00

Coke is the anti-christ!!

Jesus drinking Coca-Cola? Not this Easter

An Italian film showing Jesus Christ drinking Coca-Cola sparked such strong protest from the soft-drinks giant that it blocked the film's Easter weekend premiere, the film makers said.

The film "7 km from Jerusalem" is about an Italian advertising executive who is soul searching after losing his job and marriage. He flies to Jerusalem, where he runs into Jesus.

According to local press reports, he offers the returned Christ a can of Coca-Cola and, seeing Jesus drinking the beverage, thinks: "What a testimonial!"

Apparently Coca-Cola disagreed.

Bad Monkey!!

2007-04-04T18:07:00.000-04:00

Someone needs a spanking!

Apr 3, 6:44 PM (ET)

(AP) A spider monkey eats Christmas treats at Taronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia in this 2006 file photo....
Full Image

MEXICO CITY (AP) - A spider monkey that escaped from a Mexico City zoo boarded a bus and attacked a passenger, Red Cross officials said Tuesday. The monkey got on the bus at about 11 p.m. Monday after escaping from the San Juan de Aragon Zoo, Red Cross spokesman Jair Martinez said. Zoo officials could not immediately be reached for comment.

The animal sat next to the bus driver for almost an hour as he drove through the city, and scratched and bit a 20-year-old female passenger when she tried to hold it, the Mexican news agency Notimex said.

Martinez said the woman was treated for her injury, and the animal was placed in quarantine. He said he had no further details.

Metallica, you have been a bad boy!

2007-04-04T17:55:00.000-04:00

I am naming my next kid Pantera!

Couple Fights to Name Baby 'Metallica'

Apr 3, 4:15 PM (ET)

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - Metallica may be a cool name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince officials it is also suitable for a baby girl.

Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band.

"It suits her," Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. "She's decisive and she knows what she wants."

Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word "metal."

Tomaro said the official handling the case also called the name "ugly."

The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.

The tax agency appealed to a higher court, frustrating the family's foreign travel plans.

"We've had to cancel trips and can't get anywhere because we can't get her a passport without an approved name," Tomaro said.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

2007-04-04T17:40:00.000-04:00

Bet it was a Cocktail Weiner!

Girl bites Hamburger

A German girl who could not get rid of a persistent admirer in a Hamburg disco unzipped his flies, pulled out his penis - and almost bit it in half.

Emergency services found the man clutching his blood-stained member in the middle of the dance floor.

Natascha Mueller, 23, told police: "I just wanted to dance and he kept coming alongside me and would not go away."

Her victim, Andreas Baum, 39, said: "She beckoned me over and told me 'I know what you need'.

"Then she unzipped my trousers and I thought it was Xmas, and then she bit me. The pain was incredible. She almost bit it off."

The young woman, who was arrested, was six times over the legal limit for driving when breath tested.

Shoulda Went to college!!

2007-04-04T17:14:00.000-04:00

A woman walks into their Frat house to take care of business, and they called the cops??? Musta been the Tri-Lambs

Masturbating woman disturbs students

Male students at a US university called police after a young woman walked into their house and started masturbating.

The woman went into a Michigan University frat house and began to masturbate on a couch, reports the Michigan Daily.

Fraternity president Dan Nye said fraternity members were eating in the dining room at the time.

The woman told them her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University.

She was between 20 and 30 years old, had short brown hair and appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

"Obviously, she was very disturbed," Nye said. "It was not how a normal person would respond to people."

No one saw her enter the house but the front door had been left propped open because it was being repaired.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

When members asked the woman if she was all right, she casually replied that she was fine, he said. At one point she was talking on her mobile phone.

She walked out wearing only a thigh-length black coat after a fraternity member called the police. By the time police arrived, minutes later, she had already left.

Pet Sematary 3??

2007-03-29T19:40:00.000-04:00

Note to self, make sure pet is dead BEFORE buring!!

Puppy comes back from the dead

A puppy which 'died' in a car accident crawled home after being buried for seven hours.

The poodle, Dudu, of Nanjing City, China, was hit by a van after he was taken out for a walk, reports Jinling Evening Post.

"He was so excited to go out, and escaped the rope," says owner, Miss Li, of Longjiang residential community.

"Dudu was thrown into the air, then hit the kerb. When my mother ran to him, he was spitting blood, and had stopped breathing."

Miss Li and her mother buried Dudu outside apartment block.

But later they were shocked to get a call from the property office saying the dog was sitting outside the building's metal door.

"I rushed out and Dudu staggered toward me. He was covered with soil and had dried blood at the edge of his mouth, and both eyes swollen with blood," says Miss Li.

Li and her mother immediately sent Dudu to Beier Pet Hospital, where doctors were touched by Dudu's brave story and performed an emergency operation.

Hospital manager Hu Hong says Dudu would have been in shock when his owner couldn't feel his breath and thought he was dead.

But luckily the pit was not too deep and the soil not tightly packed, and Dudu came to the hospital in time to be saved," he said.

1982 - Ayds commercial

2007-01-02T03:24:00.000-05:00


Yes, this is one of the famous TV commercials for Ayds, a simple diet candy that was supposed to help satisfy your cravings for something sweet long enough to keep you from raiding the fridge and eating higher-calorie items. Unfortunately for the company's marketing department, AIDS was starting to become a name known to the public and, well...

CIA Agent Stole Jewelry, Panties

2006-12-06T17:31:00.000-05:00

Wonder if he used any hightech spy gear?

FAIRFAX, Va. -- A fired CIA employee has pleaded guilty to charges that he burglarized 10 homes near the agency's head- quarters.

Prosecutors said George C. Dalmas III, 48, admitted in Fairfax County Circuit Court that he broke into the homes
from October 2005 to January of this year.

He was charged with taking items that included valuable jewelry, collectibles such as Camp David cuff links and 1,074 pairs of women's underwear.

His lawyer, Gary Moliken, said mental health issues, rather than greed, motivated Dalmas, whom he described as a pack rat.

According to court documents, Dalmas never tried to pawn or sell the jewelry or other valuable goods.

Investigators said Dalmas was tracked down after a woman reported an intruder in January and gave police information from the license plates of the intruder's getaway car.

CIA officials said Dalmas worked for the agency for almost 20 years and was fired from his mid-level administrative post in August.

He faces up to 20 years in prison for each of the 10 burglaries when he's sentenced Feb. 9, though prosecutors and defense attorneys say he is likely to receive less time.

Naked man vs. Gator

2006-12-02T00:40:00.000-05:00

If I was one of the paramedics working the scene, I could have not stopped laughing!

911 call led cops to victim of alligator

Carlos Mayid couldn't see Adrian Apgar being attacked by an alligator early Wednesday, but he could hear him.

With his cell phone in hand and a sheriff's operator on the line, a calm Mayid left his home near Lake Parker and walked down his street in the pre-dawn darkness toward the screams of a man who was fighting for his life in the water.

In the recording of a dramatic 911 call released Thursday, Mayid is heard breathing heavily and walking through wet grass as Apgar's repeated cries grow louder. Finally, he got close enough to yell back.

"Hey. What's up? What do you need?" Mayid hollered.

"A gator's got me," Apgar replied, his voice faint in the background.

Mayid's call shortly after 4 a.m. sent four Polk County deputies racing to the 2,150-acre lake north of U.S. Highway 92 just outside Lakeland, where they jumped into the water and literally wrenched Apgar's arm from the gator's mouth. The victim, who told authorities he had passed out nude on the shore after smoking crack cocaine, was rushed to a hospital in critical condition.

Later Wednesday, state wildlife authorities trapped and killed a nearly 12-foot-long alligator thought to be the one that attacked Apgar, who remained today in Lakeland Regional Medical Center. His family asked that his condition not be released.

Mayid's call was picked up by a sleepy-sounding operator, Josh Fulman.

"There's a guy screaming bloody murder over here, 'Help' in front of the Moose Lodge," Mayid said. He could not be reached Thursday to elaborate on his experience.

"I can hear him from inside my house. . . . He's screaming 'Help, help, help, help.' "

From the time Mayid finally talked with Apgar, a dramatic back-and-forth relay followed with Mayid serving as the middleman between victim and operator.

Fulman told Mayid that deputies were on the way, but there was little the two could do. Meanwhile, Apgar kept screaming.

The tension built.

Replying to a plea from Apgar that was inaudible on the tape, Mayid said, "I ain't going over there. I can't go in there anyway. . . . I don't know how the hell they're going to get through."

Mayid ended up getting close enough to repeatedly ask Apgar what body part the alligator had, yelling, "Help is on the way; help is on the way."

About five minutes into the nearly eight-minute call, Fulman suggested Mayid tell Apgar to punch the alligator. "I don't know if it's true, but if you punch him in the nose . . . it may let him go," he said.

Mayid relayed the message and immediately came back with Apgar's response: "Too big."

There was an audible sigh.

Said Mayid, "He says he needs a gun."

Polk County deputies arrived about two minutes later and soon reached Apgar in the water. He was naked, slumped over in the alligator's jaws in chest-deep water on the east side of Lake Parker.

After a "tug-of-war" match with the gator, three deputies and their sergeant were able to rescue Apgar and carry him to shore. The entire rescue took about 20 minutes.

Apgar told the deputies he had been smoking crack cocaine and fell asleep on the shore when the alligator attacked him. The area includes a strip of land with a picnic table.

But local and state officials said Thursday that they don't know whether Apgar was on the land or already in the water when he was attacked. Said Gary Morse, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, "We don't know what happened."

Sheriff's officials have said Apgar, 45, of Polk City suffered a broken right arm. His left arm was nearly severed, hanging by a tendon, and he had bites to his buttocks and leg. He was in critical condition and underwent surgery Wednesday afternoon at Lakeland Regional Medical Center.

Morse said the 11-foot-9-inch, 600-pound alligator trapped several hours after the attack had been euthanized, a necessary step to protect the public.

The alligator was "much larger" than average, Morse said.

Investigators aren't positive the captured alligator was the one that attacked Apgar, but they think it is the likely culprit because it was the only gator feeding in that area.

They did not perform a necropsy on the animal because Apgar is not missing limbs.

"Everybody who comes in contact with that alligator is at risk," Morse said. "Alligators don't normally attack people. When they do, something is amiss."

Listen to the 911 call here

This makes me all hard and stuff!

2006-10-17T22:15:00.000-04:00

Be carefull, you'll poke an eye out!!

What's the point, by gum

AN advertisement which features a man with elongated nipples could be pulled from TV screens in days.

The plug stars a beachgoer whose nipples miraculously grow after he tries Mentos chewing gum.

The Advertising Standards Board said complaints from disgusted viewers started as soon as the ad was screened at the weekend.

The ad's star uses his new appendages to catch frisbees, press lift buttons and even spin discs on a DJ's turntable - while a bevvy of admiring bikini-clad girls look on.

"As soon as the advert went to air we received a number of complaints about its content, regarding inappropriate sexual references and claims that it was discriminatory to both men and women," ASB chief executive Fiona Jolly said. "The advert is being rushed on to the agenda of the next meeting of the board this week."

The ASB can ask Mentos to withdraw or edit the advertisement. Although the board's decisions are not legally enforceable, it has a 100 per cent record of compliance among advertisers.

Mentos Ice brand manager Juliette Toolin said the advertisement was intended to be "light-hearted".

"It's simply a tongue-in-cheek and humorous way of telling people about our product," she said. "We thought we might get some sort of reaction but we don't believe this is offensive."

She said a few viewers had complained directly to the company.

Here's ______ in your eye!

2006-09-15T22:29:00.000-04:00

Are we sure it was rocks and not nuggets?

Monkey threw stone at zoo visitor

A Brazilian woman is considering suing a zoo after a monkey threw a stone at her.

Regiane Viana, 25, needed hospital treatment after she was hit on the head at Rio de Janeiro Zoo.

She told O Dia newspaper that she had recovered from her injuries but had been shocked by the incident.

A spokesperson for the zoo said: "It was unbelievable, the monkey threw a rock at this woman out of the blue.

"We never had this before, but we have to investigate and find out how he learn this trick, soon people will think not even Rio's zoo is safe anymore, even the animals are getting violent!"

This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.

2006-08-24T02:01:00.000-04:00

Guess when your traveling with your mother, you should pack lightly.
I would have said it was for a blood pressure cuff.

Sex aid declared as bomb

The Associated Press (AP) has reported that a 29-year-old man travelling abroad told airport security officers a sexual aid he had packed for the trip was a bomb.

Madin Azad Amin was intending to travel to Turkey with his mother when he was stopped by officials on August 16 after they spotted a grenade-like object in Mr Amin's baggage, said AP.

Rather explaining the nature of the item in front of his mother, Mr Amin told the officials it was a bomb.

The item was in fact a section of a penis pump, AP reported Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Lorraine Scaduto as having said.

The report also said that a spokesperson for the Attorney's office confirmed Mr Amin had been charged with felony disorderly conduct.

He faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

I am right down the middle

2006-08-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

Seems about right!!

My Political Profile:

Overall: 55% Conservative, 45% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

You'll poke somebodys eye out with that!!

2006-07-23T20:40:00.000-04:00

I always thought carrots were good for your eyes. Seems I was wrong!

Man Accused of Blinding Wife With Carrot

MONROE, Conn. (AP) - A 46-year-old man is accused of assaulting his wife with a carrot, causing her to lose sight in one eye. Roderick Vecsey is charged with second-degree assault and disorderly conduct.

Pamela Vecsey, 46, underwent six hours of surgery after being hit in the left eye with the vegetable Saturday night, but doctors were not able to restore her vision, prosecutor Stephanie Damiani said.

The couple was arguing when Roderick Vecsey tossed the carrot, Damiani said.

Roderick Vecsey told Judge Patrick Carroll that it was a terrible accident, and was advised to remain silent.

The judge set a hearing for Thursday. Vecsey is currently free after posting $500 bond.

The GOOD Book!!

2006-07-15T23:41:00.000-04:00

Nothing like the smell of a Bible 1st thing in the morning!!

Inmate, Wife Smuggle Bibles Backed With Blow

(AP) HUNTINGTON, Ind. A jail inmate pleaded guilty to charges that he asked his wife to smuggle cocaine to him inside two Bibles.

Anthony W. Duckworth, 32, pleaded guilty Monday in a Huntington County court to two counts of trafficking with an inmate. His wife, Amy M. Duckworth, 28, pleaded guilty to the same charges on June 19.

On March 10, Jail Commander Steve McIntyre intercepted one Bible that was to have gone to Anthony Duckworth's cellmate, Joshua Gidley. McIntyre opened the ends of the spine, which had been glued shut, and found a plastic bag containing about 2 grams of cocaine, he said.

According to police reports, guards could not remember who had delivered the Bible to the jail in the city about 20 miles southwest of Fort Wayne. But on March 27, Sgt. Paul Douglas found a similar Bible with a lump in the spine and discovered two plastic bags inside. One contained cocaine and the other contained a substance later identified as tobacco.

Bar-code stickers led authorities to a Wal-Mart, where they found a Bible had been bought with a credit card. The receipt was signed by Amy Duckworth and a surveillance video showed her making the purchase, police said.

Investigators said she later admitted buying the Bibles but said someone else supplied the cocaine and that she enlisted two other people to deliver them to the jail, where her husband planned to sell the drugs.

Anthony Duckworth's sentencing is set for Aug. 7. Amy Duckworth is scheduled to be sentenced July 24.

Bye Bye Rosie!

2006-07-15T22:35:00.000-04:00

Hmmm, which is worse. Inmates pleasuring them selves and relieving tension in there own cells, or rampant rape, whether it be same sex or not??

I say give the stroking material if they so desire it!!!

Inmates Sue to Overturn Nude Magazine Ban

Jul 12, 6:52 AM (ET)

By KEN KUSMER

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) - Two inmates have filed a lawsuit against the Indiana Department of Correction to overturn a policy that bars magazines such as Playboy and Hustler.

The lawsuit filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Indianapolis seeks class-action status on behalf of more than 20,000 state prisoners and challenges a policy that went into effect July 1 barring adult magazines and other printed material that depict nudity or sexual content.

The policy could prohibit sexually explicit letters and publications such as National Geographic magazine and daily newspapers, according to the complaint, which said the new rule violates the plaintiffs' civil rights.

"The policy is written so broadly that it includes within its prohibitions such things as personal letters between prisoners and loved ones and much of the world's great literature and art," said the complaint, which was prepared by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana.

One of the two plaintiffs named in the complaint is Ernest Tope, 53, an inmate at the Pendleton Correctional Facility near Anderson who is serving a life sentence for murder. He claims he cannot subscribe to the motorcycle magazine Easyriders because it contains partial nudity.

The policy may also may bar books such as steamy novels by the best-selling author Jackie Collins that have been available in the past through the prison library, the lawsuit claims.

Both Tope and the other named plaintiff, murder and auto theft convict Wade Meisberger, 34, challenged the new policy through the prison grievance system but so far been unsuccessful, the complaint said. Meisberger, 34, is held at the Miami Correctional Facility near Peru.

DOC spokeswoman Java Ahmed said agency officials had not yet reviewed the lawsuit and had no comment.

Safe Driver = Jail time??

2006-07-15T21:43:00.000-04:00

And I freak out when there are 3 cars waiting on a pump at my store. I can just imagine the chaos that was going on in the parking lot if it was a prepay store!!!

Free Gas Sets Off Fights in Milwaukee

Email this Story

Jul 12, 4:46 PM (ET)

MILWAUKEE (AP) - Two vehicles crashed and four people were arrested in excitement over a gasoline giveaway Wednesday to reward the city for its safe-driving record.

For the most part, hundreds of drivers waited patiently for hours for about $30 worth of free gasoline each that Allstate Insurance provided at one station.

However, some motorists started lining up before midnight and the queue stretched far from the station into a residential area, trapping some residents in their driveways, said police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz.

That led to fights and arrests for disorderly conduct. In one case, three officers were sent to a hospital as a precaution because they were spattered with blood from someone's bloodied nose, Schwartz said.

The two crashes apparently occurred when queued-up motorists tried to let friends into line, Schwartz said.

"Any time you offer free gas when it is $3 a gallon, it is not surprising people would get excited," she said.

Allstate gave away a tanker truck load of gasoline as a reward to Milwaukee for ranking No. 1 among mid-sized cities on its safe drivers list.

Clarence Jefferson said he thought he'd be first in line when he got there at 4 a.m. - but found hundreds of others already ahead of him. Pumps were turned on at about 6 a.m.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "It helps. Every bit is worth it."

2006-07-11T19:41:00.000-04:00

I am not scared of clowns, just the people that portray them!!

Clown fear rocks festival organisers

From: Agence France-Presse

ORGANISERS of a British rock festival have been forced to change its circus theme after a number of ticket-holders told them they had a phobia of clowns.

The Bestival event on the Isle of Wight, off England's south coast, in early September was to have encouraged festival-goers to dress up in curly red wigs and oversized shoes.

Last year's Cowboys or Indians theme broke a world record for the biggest fancy dress party when 10,000 people turned up in disguise.

But organisers feared thousands of clowns in one place could spark mass panic in the psychedelic atmosphere of the festival, which is popular with so-called "nouveaux hippies", The Times reported.

"We have had so many people with clown phobias contact us I am worried everyone might end up hiding in the woods," Rob da Bank, a BBC Radio One disc jockey who will "curate" the show, was quoted as saying.

Fear of clowns - or coulrophobia - has symptoms including shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, nausea, sweating and a sense of foreboding, The Times pointed out.

Heavy make-up and bulbous noses, plus negative childhood memories of the supposed funnymen and women, are thought to be the root cause.

The Drunken Pelican

2006-06-26T21:20:00.000-04:00

Bet it was a Frat Boy bet to play "chicken" with the car!!

Intoxicated pelicans rounded up

27-06-2006

From: Reuters

FOUR pelicans suspected of being drunk on sea algae were being tested at a Southern California wildlife centre after one of them crashed headlong into a car.

Three of the California brown pelicans were found wandering dazed in the streets of Laguna Beach after another pelican struck a vehicle's windshield on a nearby coast road.

It suffered internal injuries and a long gash in its pouch and was undergoing toxicology tests.

Officials at the Wildlife Care Centre said the seabirds may have been under the influence of algae in the ocean that can produce domoic acid poisoning when eaten.

The other pelicans were rounded up after assistant wildlife director Lisa Birkle warned the public to be on the lookout for birds acting "drunk," disoriented or being in an unusual place.

We're in hot pursuit, Flash!!!

2006-06-25T21:20:00.000-04:00

I am guessing this officer was not in need of any exercise. 10 mph????

Man on Mini-Motorcycle Leads Cops on Chase

A 42-year-old Lake Crystal man led sheriff's deputies on a goose chase. His getaway vehicle: a 5-horsepower mini-motorcycle.

A call came in reporting that Douglas Lee Menne had wiped out at a downtown intersection. Sheriff's Deputy Jeff Wersal responded, suspecting it was a case of drunk driving.

By the time the deputy arrived at the intersection, Menne had recovered and driven off. After locating him, Wersal tried to get Menne to pull over. The bike had no tail light or license plate.

Wersal pursued Menne to a parking lot where he paused briefly, re-started the bike and zipped out the other side of the lot. The chase continued as Menne put-putted down a nearby street at about 25 mph.

Wersal pulled alongside Menne and yelled at him to stop. The chase slowed to about 10 mph when Wersal pulled in front of the bike.

Wersal then fired his Taser out his squad car window. One dart hit Menne, but fell out. The effort hindered Menne enough for Wersal to get out of his car and push Menne off the bike. It took the help of another deputy to make the arrest, according to the report.

Menne was jailed and released later after posting $12,000 bail. Charges are pending.

Idiots we work with

2006-06-12T21:47:00.000-04:00

There is alway at least one of these types we have worked with. Sometimes, it might be ourselves!!

YOUR BRAIN - DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT

A woman had just purchased several items she needed from a department store and was handed the credit card receipt to sign.

The cashier noticed that the back of the woman’s credit card wasn't signed and told her she couldn't complete the transaction without a signed card.

The woman was slightly confused by this request but complied and signed the back of the card immediately after signing the receipt.

The cashier took both the receipt and the card, held them up, and compared the signature.

Surprisingly they matched.

THAT'S JUST GOOFY!

The management of Walt Disney World, after two months of negotiation, finally relented and no longer makes the costume character actors share their underwear.

Before the final settlement the actors were only allowed to wear Disney provided underwear that were laundered and passed out randomly.

The actor complained to management that the underwear was often not clean, smelled bad, had stains and "things have been passed around."

Actors will now be allowed to have personal underwear, that Disney will issue, and the employees can take home and launder themselves.

Of course this won't affect the character of Donald Duck because, as we know, he doesn’t wear any pants.

JUST LET ME ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS FIRST

Businesses are only as good as the people they hire.

We've all come across people in stores, on the phone or in offices and wondered to ourselves "How did they get hired?"

Well, sometimes there's not a lot out there to choose from.

A questionnaire was sent out to Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations asking them to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

Here are some of their responses:

* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.

* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewers office.

* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

* Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

LET'S SEE WHAT DEVELOPS

A female employee of Eastman Kodak is suing the company under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

The woman claims she suffers from "seasonal affective disorder," a form of depression, and wants Kodak to provide more light where she works - in a photographic darkroom.

Next time on Springer ...America Idol fights.... naked!!!!

2006-06-02T22:44:00.000-04:00

Bet this same thing has happened since Season 2. I wanna see the finalists fight it out in a deathmatch to determine the winner!!

Man attacks mother over 'American Idol' dispute

PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. A Plattsburgh man is facing felony charges for allegedly striking his mother in the head after the two disagreed about the fate of an "American Idol" contestant.

According to court records, 24-year-old Cory Favreau was discussing the television show with his mother, Jan Chagnon, on May 24th -- the night of the finale.

His mother made comments that contestant Katharine McPhee was going to have a successful career despite losing to another contestant, Taylor Hicks.

Favreau allegedly stood up, made a malicious comment to his mother and struck her in the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain.

Court records say the two were drinking alcohol at the time.

Chagnon was treated at C-V-P-H Medical Center for a cut to the top of her head and was released.

Favreau was charged with second-degree assault and third-degree criminal possession of a weapon. He was sent to Clinton County Jail, where he was still being held tonight on five-thousand dollars cash bail.

He is scheduled to reappear June 5 in City Court.

Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Fill up for crack??

2006-06-01T19:30:00.000-04:00

Sad to say, but he had a great idea!

Man Who 'Sold' Gasoline for $10 Charged

BALTIMORE (AP) - A man who police say pretended to be a station attendant and "sold" gasoline to drivers for $10 a tank was stealing the expensive commodity and pocketing the purchase money.

Joseph K. Boulware, 41, of address unknown, was arrested May 19 at a gas station in West Baltimore where, police said, he dispensed 450 gallons of gas worth about $1,300. He was charged theft, assault and possession of crack cocaine. His bail status could not be determined late Tuesday.

Authorities said Boulware used a magnetic key and a code that effectively places a pump on standby mode, allowing him to dispense gasoline unnoticed.

Boulware had worked for gas testing companies, which is how police believe he obtained the key and code.

A spokeswoman for Austin, Texas-based Tanknology said Boulware worked there from February to May 2004, but would not discuss his employment further, The (Baltimore) Sun reported.

"He asks you, 'You want gas? I will fill you up for $10,'" said Mohammad Mehtabdin, manager of the Citgo station where Boulware was arrested. "Nobody will complain about that."

About 5:30 p.m. on May 19, a $71 charge for pump No. 8 showed up on the register inside the Citgo, catching sales associate Francis Okondu by surprise.

Okondu, Mehtabdin and three other employees confronted the man.

"I was working that night," said Mehtabdin. "He was going pump to pump. He was selling gas to the people. So our employees noticed. We asked him, 'What are you doing here?' He said, 'Nothing, nothing.'"

While trying to flee, the man punched a station worker in the face, the manager said.

"He tried to run away, but we surrounded him," Mehtabdin said. "He was yelling, 'I did nothing.'"

The man fled inside the station. When police arrived, they reported finding the black magnetic key hidden inside a Ritz cracker box on a shelf stocked.

Police recovered the key, and seized $335 in cash and two purple vials containing rocklike substances that Boulware "had in his possession," police said.

Police say they are investigating other gas-pilfering schemes at as many as eight other stations.

"He had a lot of customers," Okondu said.

I'm your Ice Cream man, stop me when I pass out!!!

2006-06-01T19:11:00.000-04:00

I wonder if he had REAL butter scotch cones?

Ice Cream Truck Driver Charged With DUI

GOSHEN, Ind. (AP) - Police say they found a nearly empty pint bottle of vodka between the front seats of an ice cream truck after they pulled over the driver for swerving into the wrong lane.

Goshen Police Patrolman Jared Baer spotted the yellow-and-white van in a subdivision, after several motorists called Saturday to report the swerving vehicle in the city about 25 miles southeast of South Bend, police said.

The van was stopped, and the driver was selling ice cream to children, so Baer waited until Dennis D. Cogburn, 51, of Bowie, Texas, started up again.

Baer said he followed the van and pulled it over after Cogburn failed to signal turns and swerved into the wrong lane.

Cogburn failed field sobriety tests and was arrested on a preliminary charge of driving under the influence of alcohol.

Cogburn reported having chest pains, so he was taken to a hospital, where a test showed his blood-alcohol level was 0.24 percent, three times the state's legal level to drive a car.

Baer impounded the ice cream van and found the nearly empty bottle of vodka, he reported.

Cogburn told police he's staying in a South Bend motel, working for the ice cream company, but planned to move back to Texas soon.

Take it outside!!!!

2006-05-29T20:13:00.000-04:00

Are they trying to kill the best smoke break of the day???

Smoking and sex go hand-in-hand?

Mon May 29, 9:16 AM ET

Australian brothel owners want an exemption to anti-smoking laws for sex workers and their clients because, they say, one thing leads to another.

Newspapers reported Sunday that the Australian Adult Entertainment Industry had written to Victoria state officials seeking an exemption to laws which ban smoking in workplaces for fear they will drive prostitutes back onto the street.

"People smoke when they drink, and people smoke when they fornicate," the industry group's William Albon was quoted as saying by Australian Associated Press.

Smoking is banned in most public buildings across Australia and will be outlawed in hotels and other licensed premises in Victoria in July.

Albon said the ban would force "men, women and transgender persons" who work as prostitutes out of the state's 87 legal brothels and onto the streets, where they could potentially become targets for violence.

"Having them standing dressed in terms not conventional for the street might be a magnet for violent, anti-social behavior," he said.

Stick em UP!!

2006-05-28T22:12:00.000-04:00

Wonder if he had a loaded weapon when he hailed the cab??

Naked man arrested for bank robbery

Burnaby RCMP say a shameless bank robber resorted to an unusual and ultimately unsuccessful diversionary tactic as he tried to elude them on Wednesday.
The incident began at about 12:30 p.m., when a man entered a bank in the 1900-block of Willingdon Avenue and demanded money.

As he fled the scene on foot, police say the man shed his clothes before attempting to flag down a passing cab.

When the taxi driver refused to stop for the naked man, police say the suspect streaked on foot toward the Gilmore SkyTrain station.

Pursing officers tackled him before he reached the station.

A 27-year-old man of no fixed address was taken into custody. He was scheduled to appear in court Thursday.

RAID!!!!!!!

2006-05-26T00:20:00.000-04:00

Wonder if she was just doing pest control??

Woman Allegedly Hits Two With Raid Can

ATHENS, Ala. (AP) - A woman was charged with domestic violence for allegedly hitting her husband and another woman on the head with a can of Raid bug spray after she found them together.

Police Sgt. Trevor Harris said a "nosy neighbor" called the woman at work on Friday and told her that her husband was at their apartment having an affair with another woman, prompting the wife to head home.

"She came in and caught her husband with another woman and she grabbed a can of Raid and went at it," said another officer, Capt. Marty Bruce. "She hit the husband in the back of the head with it and then turned on the woman and also hit her in the head."

The woman who was struck needed stitches for a head wound, police said, and the husband also was cut but did not require medical treatment.
Cornelia Cottrell Smith, 26, of Athens was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of domestic violence and released from the City Jail after posting a $1,000 bond. No one answered a call Tuesday at a telephone number listed for her address.

2006-05-20T22:50:00.000-04:00

I wonder if any one feared his loaded gun??

Naked man arrested for bank robbery

CBC News

Burnaby RCMP say a shameless bank robber resorted to an unusual — and ultimately unsuccessful — diversionary tactic as he tried to elude them on Wednesday.

The incident began at about 12:30 p.m., when a man entered a bank in the 1900-block of Willingdon Avenue and demanded money.

As he fled the scene on foot, police say the man shed his clothes before attempting to flag down a passing cab.

When the taxi driver refused to stop for the naked man, police say the suspect streaked on foot toward the Gilmore SkyTrain station.

Pursing officers tackled him before he reached the station.

A 27-year-old man of no fixed address was taken into custody. He was scheduled to appear in court Thursday.

Bet you will learn something today!!!

2006-05-13T18:35:00.000-04:00

I guess when I take my cross country giraffe trip, I need to avoid Atlanta

Interesting But Useless Facts

1. Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.

2. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day.

3. It's illegal in Newcastle, WY to have sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer.

4. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

5. Jaguars are frightened by dogs.

6. Holland has the densest population per square mile of any nation in the world.

7. In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.

8. It takes about 48 hours for your body to completely digest the food from one meal.

9. It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.

10. Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.

11. Human tapeworms can grow up to 22.9m.

12. It's been estimated that one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.

13. In Atlanta, GA, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

14. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.

15. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.

16. In Britain, failed suicides were hanged in the 19th century.

17. If a child burps during a church service in Omaha, Nebraska his or her parents may be arrested.

18. It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound.

19. In a lifetime the average US resident eats more than 50 tons of food and drinks more than 13,000 gallons of liquid.

20. In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

21. Hamsters blink one eye at a time.

22. If a person has two thirds of their liver removed through trauma or surgery, it will grow back to the original size in four weeks time.

23. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

24. In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.

25. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal humans neck.

26. Hondas and Toyotas are the most frequently stolen passenger cars because they have parts that can be readily exchanged between model years without a problem.

27. In 1386, a pig was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child.

28. Humans are the only animals that use a smile as an emotional response.

29. When a small amount of liquor were placed on a scorpion, it would instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

30. Homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.

Wanna see something funny?

2006-05-12T22:55:00.000-04:00

Decided to give anyone who gives a shit about this little corner of the web, some laughs.

Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says, "I must
tell you something; We have a case of gonorrhea."

A nun in the back says, "Thank God, I am tired of Zinfandel."

+---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+
FLORIDA

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

In Pensacola, a women can be fined (only after death), for
being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-
beautification utensils.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

In Daytona Beach, the molestation of trash cans is banned.

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

In Sarasota, if you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.

You may not kiss your wife's breasts.

In Sarasota, you may not catch crabs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then
starts putting on his coat.
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor."
She says, "Why, are you sick?"
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff."
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out
of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.
He says, "Where the hell are you going"?
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
He says, "Why, what do you need?"

She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm
getting a tetanus shot."

_________________________________

Cookie gives lax lessons

2006-05-11T20:53:00.000-04:00

Stay away from the homemade Girlscout cookies! And please get off the towers...

Mom said to help girls bake Ex-Lax cookies

Associated Press

SKOWHEGAN, Maine - A 43-year-old woman is charged with helping her daughter and two other teenage girls bake cookies laced with a laxative that were then given to a teacher.

Julie Hunt appeared in Skowhegan District Court on Monday and pleaded innocent to a charge of misdemeanor assault.

Hunt was arrested Friday after a police investigation into the attempted prank at Carrabec Community School in Anson that sickened four seventh- and eighth-grade children.

The cookies, which were baked with Ex-Lax, were left on the teacher's desk on April 10 with a note saying, "We made these cookies just for you, hope you enjoy them."

According to a police affidavit, Hunt told the girls how to crush the laxative pills and mix them in with the cookie batter. The girls, who are 13 and 14, used an entire box of pills, the affidavit says.

Mary Adley, the principal of the school, called police on April 24 after hearing two girls talking about the incident.

Maine State Police Lt. Dale Lancaster said that the girls were not facing criminal charges. The affidavit said all three girls were suspended by school officials.

But Hunt's involvement could not be overlooked, Lancaster said.

"If you assist children with perpetrating these kinds of crimes, you will be charged," he said.

Bush makes me laugh!!

2006-05-05T22:31:00.000-04:00

To quote Larry The Cable Guy "I don't care who you are, thats funny right there!!"

Bush in 'chipper' mood at reporters' dinner
President jokes that he was lucky to survive White House shakeup

WASHINGTON (AP story) - It was twice the fun for members of the White House Correspondents' Association and guests Saturday night when President Bush and a look-alike, sound-alike sidekick poked fun at the president and fellow politicians.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I feel chipper tonight. I survived the White House shake-up," the president said.

But impersonator Steve Bridges stole many of the best lines. Vice President Dick Cheney and his hunting accident were targets of his humor on a couple of occasions.

"Speaking of suspects, where is the great white hunter?" Bridges said, later adding, "He shot the only trial lawyer in the country who supports me."

Bush continued a tradition begun by President Coolidge in attending the correspondents' dinner.

Bush's alter-ego gets last word
He invited Bridges to play his double. The president talked to the press in polite, friendly terms. Bridges told them what the president was really thinking.

Bridges opened like this: "The media really ticks me off, the way they try to embarrass me by not editing what I say. Well, let's get things going, or I'll never get to bed."

"I'm absolutely delighted to be here, as is (wife) Laura," Bush replied.

"She's hot," Bridges quipped.

The featured entertainer was Stephen Colbert, whose Comedy Central show "The Colbert Report" often lampoons the Washington establishment.

"I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq," Colbert said in a typical zinger.

He also paid mock tribute to Bush as a man who "believes Wednesday what he believed Monday, despite what happened Tuesday."

Click here to see the vid

Wanna eat out?

2006-04-24T20:20:00.000-04:00

1st Chi-Chi's and now the Pink Taco?? I hope this place gets franchised, cause I will eat here EVERY DAY!!!!!!

Suggestive name puts eatery, city at odds

Megan Finnerty
The Arizona Republic

In a city aspiring to be defined by its good taste, a new Mexican restaurant, the Pink Taco, is opening with a name that some find offensive.

Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross was so put off by the name, a slang term for vagina, that she asked its owner to change it.

"I don't appreciate anything that offends more than half the population," Manross said. "But he said no and heard my concern. I really didn't want to see a business with that name opening anywhere here."

Sounding more strip club than cantina, the restaurant isn't coy about the double entendre.

"(The name) came out of a dish (that's on the menu), but it's tongue-in-cheek. It was amusing, catchy," Pink Taco CEO Harry Morton said. "You've got to stand out from the rest of the crowd."

The Scottsdale City Council will consider the Pink Taco's application for a liquor license May 15 and will vote whether to recommend that the state liquor board approve the license. No letters of opposition have been filed with the city so far, but Pink Taco management is nervous about the name controversy because the restaurant won't open without that license.

The original Pink Taco is inside Morton's family-owned Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, where they serve strong margaritas and upscale food with sides of loud rock, Mexican art and "East LA" bric-a-brac, i.e. low-rider bicycles and license plates.

"I haven't had a single flap since the restaurant opened - in 6 years," Morton said.

Scottsdale is first in a planned expansion to other "AAA+ locations in A+ markets," he said.

The Pink Taco is slated to open in June on the corner of Scottsdale and Camelback roads in the $250 million Scottsdale Waterfront.

The restaurant will be next to the elegant Wildfish Seafood Grille and boutiques where blouses sell for as much as the payment on a Lexus. Nearby condos under construction will cost as much as $4 million.

And the name does offend some.

"It's degrading to women. It sounds like a sexual slur," said Dorina Wilson, 40, of Phoenix, a mom who shops in the area regularly.

Dawn Staples-Kerr, 39, of Scottsdale, agreed.

"I don't think we'd even go to lunch there. It's already been a talking topic," she said. "We were like, 'Can you believe they're going to open something with that name here?' "

Moments later, Staples-Kerr explained the phrase to a friend who's 44. Giggling ensued.

David Roderique, the economic-vitality director for Scottsdale, also giggled when asked about the restaurant. Then he regained his composure.

"While there may be some people who have concerns about the name of the restaurant, we've got a younger crowd who appreciates more diversity and finding ways to slap the establishment," he said.

The leasing agents in charge of the Waterfront's retail space knew the name had baggage, but it didn't matter in the face of the hipster cachet the Pink Taco would bring, said LeDonna Spongberg, vice president of leasing at the Phoenix-based Corritore Co.

"We knew who they were, and we liked them; they bring a really high energy to the project," she said.

Future condo tenants haven't been turned off by the name, said Jeff Roberts, vice president of real estate development with Opus West, the Waterfront condo developer.

Rick Kidder, president of the Scottsdale Area Chamber of Commerce, wonders if people aren't upset because the name goes over their heads.

"I've seen the Blue Burrito, and I thought, 'Oh, Pink Taco. OK.' " he said. "Somebody had to explain it to me. I just didn't get it."

Any Questions??

2006-04-19T02:21:00.000-04:00

If you really know me, I am not religious or political. I am happy to be an American. And I thought this post makes a good point.

This should answer the question quite sufficiently. WHY?

Cindy Sheehan asked President Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?"

Another mother asked President Kennedy, "Why did my son have to die
in Viet Nam?"

Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea?

Another mother asked President F.D. Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to
die at Iwo Jima?"

Another mother asked President W. Wilson, "Why did my son have to die
on the battlefield of France?"

Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die
at Gettysburg?"

And yet another mother asked President G. Washington, "Why did my son
have to die near Valley Forge?"

Then long, long ago, a mother asked, "Heavenly Father, why did my Son
have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem?"

The answers to all these are similar -- "that others may have life
and dwell in peace, happiness and freedom."

IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!!

2006-04-19T01:13:00.000-04:00

Heh, heh, heh...... Fire, FIre FIRE!!!!!!

Boy Sets Self on Fire in Alleged Gas Theft

GILLETTE, Wyo. (AP) - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.

Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.

The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said.

Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.

Is this crack whack??

2006-03-25T02:44:00.000-05:00

Maybe Ms. Houston should hire this guy to make sure she and Bobby get the good stuff!!

Man Arrested After Asking Officers To Test Crack Pipe

TAMPA, Fla. -- Phillip Williams doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, police say. So he approached two uniformed Tampa officers and allegedly asked them to test his crack pipe so he could be sure.

Turned out Williams, 47, was getting the real thing, and he was arrested shortly after approaching the officers Tuesday morning.

Officers Wayne Easley and Gary Filippone were investigating a burglary and trying to catch loose dogs when Williams walked up, crack pipe in hand, and asked them to verify that he was getting real drugs, a report said.

When Williams grabbed Easley's police vest, the officers put him in handcuffs, the report said. He was arrested after the residue in his pipe tested positive for crack cocaine.

Williams is listed in jail records as a security worker at MacDill Air Force Base. He is charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia. He was still in jail Wednesday with bail set at $2,500. Jail records had no attorney information.

Slippery Samurai?

2006-03-25T02:28:00.000-05:00

Well, at least it wasnt the Beverly Hills Ninja!!

Naked, Oily Man Attacks Police With Nunchucks

Written by Jodi Mohrmann
WCSC-TV

Police in Charleston say a naked man exposed himself to his neighbor, then later attacked officers with nunchucks.

Police say 49-year-old Rudolph Claude Smith went next door to his neighbor's house to borrow some oil for a workout. While he was in the neighbor's home, police say Smith took off his clothes and asked the neighbor to "oil him up."

According to a police report, Smith attacked officers with nunchucks when they came to his home to make an arrest. They also say the oil made it hard for them to get a good grip on him.

He's now in jail awaiting a bond hearing.

XXX AARP

2006-03-19T19:39:00.000-05:00

I wanna be like this guy when I grow up!!

Who's your granddaddy

From correspondents in Moscow

From: The Australian

A 75-year-old grandfather has become the newest star of Russia's growing porn industry, after wandering on to a film set by mistake, thinking it was a muscle man show.

David Bozdoganov has since starred in the films The Old Neighbour and Handyman at Work.

Director Alexander Plahov said: "We were auditioning for a new film and had a number of couples on stage simulating sex when I saw an old guy standing at the back.

"I wandered over to ask him to leave when I saw this massive package straining against his trousers.

"I thought, now this could be an original idea. And I was right: all the movies we've made with David have been huge successes."

The beast with two backs - and a walking stick. But not everyone is delighted. The priapic pensioner apparently believes in the beneficial powers of garlic and his female co-stars have complained about his habit of rubbing it on his genitals before filming action scenes.

2006-03-10T18:15:00.000-05:00

1st Beer Vending Machines, then Panty Vending Machines, now these??? I love convenience!! Who wants to call around and what U.S. places have them?

Sex Toy Vending Machines Popular In Britain

LONDON -- The buzz in Britain is about vibrator vending machines.

Bars and nightclubs in London and other British cities are selling sex toys out of pink Tabooboo machines. Geoff Todd, manager of the Alphabet Bar in London's West End, said they've put the Tabooboo machine right in the middle of the place.

He said patrons who might be too embarrassed to go into a sex shop will use their machine.

He said the sex toys have proved to be a good draw. The Tabooboo machines have a variety of adult toys, including mini vibrators. The adult novelties sell for about $9 each.

On it's Web site, Tabooboo said some of their vending machines are found at the best design led bars, clubs, gyms, shops and even some hair salons in the United Kingdom, Italy, Holland, Japan and the United States.

The site said the bright pink tabooboo machines stock a selection of ever changing naughty goods.

Would you like that in a baggie??

2006-02-28T19:42:00.000-05:00

Just proof once again the world is full of idiots!! Wonder if tire gauges were included in the sale?Miss Houston going under cover?

Police: Convenience Stores Sold Crack Pipes To Customers

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. -- Daytona Beach police said convenience store owners were selling crack pipes to customers and not even trying to hide it. Four store workers were arrested Wednesday during an undercover sting.

Most of the convenience stores that were raided were in the Ridgewood area. Three stores were busted for selling everything you need to smoke crack, except the crack.

"When you're selling this item as drug paraphernalia, it becomes a felony," explained Sgt. William Walden, Daytona Beach Police Department.

Eight convenience stores and four arrests were made because of a rose in a tube. At first, it could appear to be a chintzy gift for your sweetheart. Though most convenience store owners know what else it can be used for.

Not many will talk about it, although Wednesday undercover agents were calling it what it is.

"We told 'em flat out. 'We'd like to get a crack pipe,'" Sgt. Walden said.

Those who sold the vials were cuffed and hauled away.

Police said another bit of damning evidence was that some of the vendors gave a free piece of "Chore Boy" (like Brillo) with the vials. Crack users roll it up and stick it into the bottom of the vial. It acts like a crack filter.

"We weren't even asking for the Chore Boy, but, obviously, they knew how to complete the fashioning of them into an actual crack pipe," Sgt. Walden said.

Investigators said, if the owners can come up with another use for a vial and a complementary filter together, they will listen.

Police are actually surprised they made any arrests. The local Daytona paper ran a story on the rose-in-a-tube Wednesday morning against the wishes of the police. Police said they were lucky the suspects didn't read the paper.

Click here for the news video

My kingdom for a goat

2006-02-26T22:13:00.000-05:00

This reminds me of a joke I read in Maxim today. When I find it, I will post it too.

Ahhh, here it is!!Couldnt find it, so pulled it out of the air in my brain!
A young man has proposed to his girlfriend, buy 1st, he has to ask her father the farmer for her hand in marriage.

The recent grad walks up to his possible future father in law and asks if he can have his daughter's hand in marriage. The dad points over to the cow and says "If you walk over and screw that cow, I will consider it"

So, the young man goes over, pulls his pants down, and does his thing. Walks back to the father and asks again for his daughters hand.

Once again, the farmer points. "If you walk over and screw that pig, I will consider it"

The groom to be does what he is asked, and when he is done, is directed over to the goat. Once he is done there, weak and wore out, goes back to the farmer.

The farmer says "You have proved your love for my daughter, you may marry her with my full blessings"

The red eyed young man said "The hell with that!!! How much for the whole farm??"

Man forced to marry goat

From correspondents in Malakal, Sudan

From: The Australian

A MAN caught "in flagrante delicto" with a goat has been forced to marry the animal.

According to the local newspaper, The Juba Post, the goat's owner, a Mr Alifi, caught his neighbour, Mr Tombe, assaulting his goat and reported the man to the local council of elders for adjudication.

Goat ... identity of the victim cannot be revealed / file

"It was around midnight when Tombe came to do his nonsense on my goat, and I was already in bed inside my house," Mr Alifi said.

"Suddenly I heard the goat make a loud noise. Immediately I rushed outside to find Mr Tombe was naked and engaged in a relationship with my goat. " When I asked him what are you doing there, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up. They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife."

Mr Tombe agreed to pay a dowry of 150,000 Sudanese dinars ($125) for his new spouse.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi told the Post.

Dirty Law

2006-02-25T22:25:00.000-05:00

I think they forgot to include "Cuff em and stuff em"

Things That Sound Dirty in Law

1. Have you looked through her briefs?

2. He is one hard judge.

3. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

4. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

5. Is it a penal offense?

6. Better leave the handcuffs on.

7. For $200 an hour, she better be good.

8. Can you get him to drop his suit?

9. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

10. Think you can get me off?

Damn you dirty apes!!!!

2006-02-23T00:44:00.000-05:00

How much longer till monkeys are running the local 7-11??

(Guess I need to put in some applications)

Chimps caught using 'tool kit'

From correspondents in London

21-02-2006

From: The Australian

They may not be ready for a full-time job, but chimps have been filmed using a 'tool kit' to harvest termites / file

SCIENTISTS working in west Africa have caught chimpanzees on camera using a "tool kit" to break into a termite mound.

The remarkable film shows one chimp using its feet to push a thick stick into the termite nest, like a gardener digging up potatoes. Then the same animal takes another tool, a slender stem with a frayed end, and inserts it into the hole to fish out the insects.

Chimps have been observed before cracking nuts with stones and catching ants and termites with twigs and leaves. But this is the first recorded example of the apes equipped with multiple tools.

The video footage, which has just been brought back from Africa, was taken by a team of scientists in the Congo using a hidden camera.

Andrew Whiten, of the University of St Andrews in Scotland, told scientists in the US: "This chimpanzee is using a tool kit." While termite fishing was already well known in many chimpanzee groups, he said: "Here you've got an extra technique that hasn't spread yet."

The human-like antics of the chimpanzees are the latest example of what scientists call "culture" in animals.

Culture is defined as a traditional behaviour that is learned within a group and passed between individuals and down generations.

More than 40 examples of cultural behaviour have been observed in chimpanzees, our closest animal relative. They have also been seen in wild orang-utangs living in Asian rainforests.

Scientists think culture goes hand-in-hand with social living and is both a product of intelligence and its spur.

Speaking at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in St Louis, Professor Whiten said: "We've come to a really exciting stage in our understanding and knowledge of great apes, which has built up over the last 40 years."

Can you help me pull this up?

2006-02-22T21:47:00.000-05:00

I think this is a long lost sport, "Fun with Dressing Rooms!!!"

Army hunting 'Donkey Dong'

By Greg McLean

22-02-2006

From: Northern Territory News

Investigators are currently probing the mystery, but won't
move prematurely for fear of cocking-up the case / file photo

AUSTRALIAN military police are hunting for a well endowed serial flasher nicknamed "Donkey Dong" who is terrorising underwear salespeople.

The supposedly well-endowed flasher, who wears army uniform, has been labelled "Donkey Dong" by some city retailers.

Several clothing and sporting retail outlets in the Mitchell Centre have been targeted over the past six months by the unidentified pervert, who calls shop assistants into the change room to see if his tight underwear "fits".

MPs have obtained surveillance footage from several businesses to see if they can determine the identity of the culprit or rule out that he belongs to the military.

The most recent retail outlet to be targeted by the mysterious flasher received a visit on Valentine's Day.

"I thought it was one of my mates having a joke on me because we sometimes send each other fat-o-grams or something on Valentine's Day when he called me in to the changing room and I saw it," the shop assistant said.

"He has been in here four times and apparently he always tries on the same pair of red undies. I didn't really know what to say when he asked me if I thought they fitted him.

"It looks real and it's so big, it winds all the way down his leg and I wasn't sure what to do so I just went and got him a bigger pair.

"He got really nervous and was peeking out from the curtain.

"We call him Donkey Dong in here. He never buys anything and walks out saying that everything in the shop is too small for him."

Another favourite form of clothing for the serial flasher is bicycle pants, which reveal him in all his glory.

One retailer who outfitted the man with a pair of bicycle pants recently said he revealed himself to her. After getting a good look, she believes the serial flasher may be using a stocking to fake his credentials.

"It fell out of his pants and he said, `That's so embarrassing, it happens all the time'," she said.

A Department of Defence spokesman yesterday confirmed military police have spoken to retailers and are analysing surveillance footage to try to identify the man.

Please sign on the dotted line

2006-02-22T01:00:00.000-05:00

Its guys like this that make the rest of us look good!!

Read the story here.

Nothing to update, but there is an update here

2006-02-20T23:41:00.000-05:00

For the life of me, I cant figure out the draft feature on Blogger. Mainly changing post dates, but anyway...

Assume the position

Guess a bribe is kinda out of the question here...

(was gonna post it a few days ago, but somthing told me to wait, and now I know why, there is an update!!!)

Sheriff: Officers Must Have Sex With Prostitutes For Evidence

SPOTSYLVANIA, Va. -- Undercover sex is getting the OK from a Virginia sheriff.

Spotsylvania County Sheriff Howard Smith Several police officials and legal observers say the practice has been tried by other agencies across the country, but they knew of none that still permit sexual contact with suspects as part of prostitution investigations. But many police agencies across the country have banned sexual contact between investigators and suspects. said he stands by the practice of allowing detectives to receive sexual services in the course of their investigations so they can catch suspects in the act.

Court documents show that four times last month, county detectives allowed women at a massage parlor to perform sex acts on them. In one case, a lawman left a $350 tip. Smith acknowledged the practice is not new.

Smith told The Washington Post that only unmarried detectives are allowed to do the under-the-covers work.

He said actual sex acts are needed to help win prostitution convictions.

"If I thought we could get the conviction without that, we wouldn't allow it," Smith told the newspaper. "If you want to make them, this has to be done."

He said most prostitutes are careful not to say anything incriminating, which makes sexual contact necessary

Several police officials and legal observers say the practice has been tried by other agencies across the country, but they knew of none that still permit sexual contact with suspects as part of prostitution investigations. But many police agencies across the country have banned sexual contact between investigators and suspects.

When police used similar tactics in the past in Montgomery County, Md., the charges ended up being dropped.

And here is the update, glad I waited

Sheriff Howard Smith will no longer allow his officers to pay for sex when making prostitution busts.

SPOTSYLVANIA, Virginia (AP) -- A Virginia sheriff said Friday he will no longer allow detectives to receive sexual services while investigating suspected prostitution.

Spotsylvania County Sheriff Howard Smith made the announcement after his officers spent $1,200 at massage parlors last month and sparked a public outcry.
Smith defended the practice as necessary to obtain a conviction but told his department he was suspending it.

"As sheriff, I understand the feelings and concerns the citizens of this county have expressed," Smith said in a statement on Friday.

"And I empathize with those feelings," he added. "Because of the public's express response, I have suspended this practice."

Court documents show that four times last month, county detectives allowed women at Moon Spa to perform sex acts on them -- once leaving a $350 tip. A total of $1,200 was spent during the visits, Smith said. (Watch the officers that always get their woman -- 2:39)

He said multiple visits were necessary so detectives could build trust with the operators.

Detectives shut down Moon Spa last month. The two suspected operators and three women accused of working there face several charges, including prostitution and sodomy, Smith said.

Smith maintained the sexual contact was necessary to obtain a conviction. But law enforcement officials say undercover officers only need to get an offer of sex for money to move the case forward.

The practice has been used in Spotsylvania since at least 2003.

Earlier this week, Smith told The Washington Post that sexual contact is needed during the investigations because most professionals know not to say anything incriminating. And conversation is difficult, he said, because masseuses at the Asian-run parlors in the northern Virginia county speak little English.

But several members of Spotsylvania's Board of Supervisors have spoken out against the methods used in the investigation.

"All of us ... have been worried about this episode tarnishing the county and making us a laughingstock of the nation," board chairman Henry "Hap" Connors said Friday. "That's why I came out early on and asked the sheriff to cease using these tactics."

Spotsylvania Commonwealth's Attorney William Neely said he respects Smith's decision to end the practice, but refused to apologize for the officers' tactics.

Love for sale!

2006-02-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

And to think, all we had when I was a kid was a Hustler and some lotion!!!

Shop 'renting' sex dolls to teens

From:

From correspondents in the United Arab Emirates

HOT on the heels of reports in the British press that the Manchester-based Muslim Association has called for the banning of a male sex doll called Mustafa Shag as disrespectful to the prophet Mohammed, comes the news that a sports shop in the Emirates has been closed down for selling female sex dolls.

The owner of the unnamed shop had been renting out the dolls, mainly to teenage boys, for a day at a time.

They had not been advertised but the popular sex aids were trading by word of mouth.

According to internet gossip site, Popbitch, one satisfied customer had made the mistake of telling the son of a government minister and the store was raided and subsequently forced to close.

Meanwhile the makers of the Mustafa Shag doll, Anne Summers, has apologised for christening its moustachioed sex doll with a name often used by the prophet, or al-Mustafa, the chosen one.

Hello?? Is it me your looking for?

2006-02-20T21:09:00.000-05:00

"I'm sorry, but the number you are calling is a dead line"

Corpse phones home

From:

From correspondents in Serbia

AN undertaker director faces criminal charges after organising a funeral service for a man who was still alive.

As Bogoljub Topalovic's coffin was being lowered into the ground, his daughter's mobile phone rang.

She was surprised, and then happy, to receive a call from the supposed corpse who was wondering why none of his family had been to visit him that day.

It seems a nurse, keen to claim the commission paid for information about new deaths, had mistakenly noted down the wrong name when ringing the funeral home.

The funeral staff then collected someone else's corpse.

The nurse also faces disciplinary charges for putting Mr Topalovic's family through several days of grief.

Hey man..... this dope is harshing my buzz......

2006-02-20T20:05:00.000-05:00

Maybe Whitney Houston got some bad crack, cause it was whack!!

Ananova:

Cannabis smoker complained to police

A cannabis smoker has been arrested after complaining to police that he was sold bad weed.

Hans-Juergen Bendt, 52, from Darmstadt, lodged a complaint about his dealer with police after he sold him seven ounces of "completely un-enjoyable" hash.

Bendt complained the dealer refused to refund him the £270 (about $212.79 US from what I figure bc) he had paid for the drugs.

But despite the official complaint, in which Bendt described himself as a victim of "fraud" involving drugs of "absolutely mediocre quality", the officers failed to act upon the allegations and booked the complainant instead.

He is now being charged for the illegal purchase and possession of narcotic substances.

Clothing is for slow people

2006-02-14T02:18:00.000-05:00

Good thing I put my pants on before my shirt in the mornings!!

Pants-less driver lands in jail

He was on way to work when pulled over

It's pretty bad if you get arrested for drugs.

It's pretty embarrassing if you get arrested for drugs while not wearing pants while driving to work.

But Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies say that's just what happened Sunday to George Micelli, 42, of Homestead.

Deputies say that Sunday at 8:30 a.m. Deputy Francisco Gaete was watching for a silver minivan that had reportedly been traveling recklessly. He spotted it as it turned into a gas station at mile marker 106, approached the driver and asked for his license and registration. The driver reportedly couldn't produce either one.

A check of his name revealed his license was suspended eight times so as Gaete prepared to take Micelli into custody, he noticed the suspect was wearing only a shirt and underwear.

Deputy Becky Herrin said Gaete asked why he wasn't wearing pants and Micelli replied that he was on his way to work at the gas station where the traffic stop took place.

Herrin said he said he thought it would be more comfortable to go to work in his underwear.

She said a search of Micelli's van turned up a folded dollar bill that had three foil packets with a brown substance inside; she said it tested positive for heroin.

Micelli was booked on charges of driving with his license suspended and possession of a controlled substance.

I'd hate to bust your fun bag there......

2006-02-14T00:12:00.000-05:00

Note to self, don't mess with the waitressess at the strip club.

Woman Accused of Being Condom Bomber

Monday, February 13, 2006

Hey, at least she used protection.

Saying she was tired of men mistreating her, an ex-strip club waitress in Boston mailed condoms filled with a potentially explosive mixture to strip clubs, a TV station and other places, according to The Boston Globe.

Kimberly Lynn Dasilva, 40, said she just "couldn't take it anymore" in FBI documents unsealed in the city's U.S. District Court on Tuesday.

None of the condom bombs — a mix of gasoline and drain cleaner that can explode when combined — actually went off, authorities said.

Cops also said Dasilva told them she hadn't thought they would work.

Dasilva, a single mother of two teens, referred questions to her attorney when The Globe got in touch with her on Tuesday. The lawyer had no comment.

According to FBI affidavits, a strange package showed up at the Bridgewater State College admissions office on Sept. 21 — with a note inside saying "Boom." Workers evacuated the building and the State Police Bomb Squad was called in when a fluid was seen leaking from the package.

The next day at the Brockton postal annex, five more parcels containing the risky rubbers were found, according to the FBI documents.

The packages were addressed to The Outlaws motorcycle club in Taunton, local TV station WFXT, Boston radio station WXKS-FM, and two strip clubs — The Foxy Lady in Brockton and Alex's in Stoughton.

State police troopers and FBI agents raided the alleged condom bomber's home, finding letters hidden in her bedroom's ceiling tiles allegedly linking her to the mailings. Cops arrested Dasilva, who used to work at The Foxy Lady and Alex's, last Friday night.

U.S. Magistrate Judge Robert B. Collings released her last Monday on $10,000 bond, scheduling a hearing Feb. 23.

Say Ahhhh.......

2006-02-12T18:27:00.000-05:00

You know, it really sucks to go to the dentist some times.

Dentist accused in sex-for-pills case

Associated Press
Feb. 10, 2006 05:00 PM

QUINCY, Mass. - An elderly dentist pleaded not guilty Friday to charges he wrote fraudulent prescriptions that police claim were in exchange for sex from drug addicts.

Police alleged Dr. Joseph T. Matarazzo, 77, wrote more than 100 fraudulent prescriptions over two years in exchange for oral sex, The Patriot Ledger of Quincy reported.

Matarazzo allegedly told an undercover police officer that he wrote fraudulent Oxycodone prescriptions for the same person three times and suggested "maybe she had a drug problem." Oxycodone is the main chemical in painkillers Percoset and OxyContin.

Police obtained Matarazzo's records showing a list of prescriptions he wrote, and said it includes several people known to police to be drug addicts, the Ledger reported. Police say their probe is ongoing.

Matarazzo was released on his own recognizance after his arraignment in Quincy District Court. He's due back in court March 15.

The charges include distribution of a class B substance, drug violations near a school, conspiracy to violate drug laws, and uttering a false prescription.

Matarazzo declined to comment Friday. His lawyer, Frederick G. Barry Jr., said the charges against Matarazzo are related to a single allegation.

"He's been a dentist for 52 years and he has no prior criminal record whatsoever," Barry said. "He's a good man."

Matarazzo has surrendered his dentist's license, which he obtained in 1953, according to the state Division of Professional Licensure.

2006-02-09T01:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, people just amaze me. I don't know which was worse, the crook or the cops. Well, at least he didn't have to hot wire it.

Suspect steals police station car

From: Reuters

From correspondents in Berlin

February 09, 2006

DETECTIVES in Germany were dumbstruck after a man they had just booked for burglary walked out of the police station and drove off in one of their cars, authorities said today.

"It's not just unusual, it's embarrassing," said a spokesman for police in the central town of Eschwege.

Police said the 27-year-old must have pocketed the key of the car during his interrogation.

After he was charged and released, officers were stunned to see the man easing out of the station in the unmarked vehicle and immediately gave chase.

Three cars, including the stolen vehicle, were damaged in the ensuing pursuit which ended with the man's re-arrest.

Those crazy Americans!

2006-02-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

And some wonder why I never tried to learn another language in school!! English is hard enough to wrap my brain around!!

Got this post in my email from the RAFactor @ Yahoo Groups. Thanks nroubal!!

Subject: (ra-factor) OT: a little morning waker UP

English - [and Texan is even harder]
Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its
paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are
square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you
can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and
ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all
the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an
alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at
all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps
has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of
the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a
meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are
the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to
write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish
UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UPthe kitchen. We
lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times
the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble,
line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To
be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is
stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at
night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about
the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-
sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add
UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try
building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a
lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a
hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,
so............ Time to shut UP.....!

Oh...one more thing:

What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you
do at night? U-P

Which way did he go George, which way did he go??

2006-02-01T03:15:00.000-05:00

There are stupid criminals, and dumbass cops!!

Gunman gives police slip before 7-hour 'stakeout'

Mon Jan 30, 11:35 AM ET

Around 100 police officers staked out a suspected armed robber at a Zurich bank for nearly seven hours on Monday, only to find the man had already fled minutes after the alarm was raised, police said.

Police stormed the branch of Credit Suisse, opposite a police station, at around 1445 CET (1:45 p.m. British time), having tried for hours to establish contact with the assailant who was suspected of holding two employees hostage.

The drama was broadcast live on Swiss television, but it seemed the gunman had already given the slip.

"On the basis of current police information, it must be assumed that the suspect fled before the first police officers arrived on the scene," police said in a statement.

Local residents were told to remain indoors and a section of the suburb was cordoned off as police sought to bargain with the man after a third employee raised the alarm.

In fact, the employees, a male trainee and woman, had locked themselves in rooms the gunman could not enter and did not know he had already fled. They were found uninjured but traumatised by the stake-out.

Get your Caveman on!

2006-01-27T22:03:00.000-05:00

I think we should all be able to wear loin clothes!! Much better than the Speedo!

Twins detained for loincloth outrage

Fri Jan 27, 9:41 AM ET

Zimbabwean twins who became media celebrities for appearing in public wearing nothing but traditional African goatskin loincloths have been detained pending trial for indecent exposure.

Harare magistrate Mishrod Guvamombe also ordered the 22-year-old brothers, dubbed the "Terrible Twins" by local newspapers, to undergo psychiatric evaluation, the official Herald newspaper said Friday.

The men, Tafadzwanashe and Tapiwanashe Fichani, raised eyebrows last month when they went to an upscale Harare shopping mall clad only in brief loincloths -- leading several shocked shoppers to call the police.

The twins said they were making a statement by appearing in traditional African clothing dating back to pre-colonial times.

State prosecutors disagreed and lodged a case of indecent exposure against them, a position the Herald said was backed by the head of Zimbabwe's National Traditional Healers' Association.

"We have failed to see how their actions conform to our culture," association president Gordon Chavunduka told the newspaper. "Dressing of that nature is now reserved for special traditional and cultural occasions, not everywhere."

The twins were denied bail and ordered back to court for trial on February 2.

Copyright © 2006 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.

Was this what Braveheart was fighting for?

2006-01-27T20:21:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I have the Tom Petty song "Free Fallin" stuck in my head right now

Male Student Wins Fight to Wear Skirt

Male Student Wins Fight to Wear Skirt to Protest N.J. School's Dress Code

The Associated Press

HASBROUCK HEIGHTS, N.J. - A male high school student can wear a skirt to school after the American Civil Liberties Union reached an agreement with school officials.

The ACLU announced the deal Tuesday. It will allow a Hasbrouck Heights School senior to wear a skirt to protest the school's no-shorts policy.

The district's dress code bans shorts between Oct. 1 and April 15, but allows skirts, a policy 17-year-old Michael Coviello believes is discriminatory.

"I'm happy to be able to wear skirts again to bring attention to the fact that the ban on shorts doesn't make sense," Coviello said in a statement.

The Hasbrouck Heights superintendent, Joseph C. Luongo, did not return telephone messages left Tuesday seeking comment.

Coviello first wore a costume-style dress but high school officials told him to go home and change. The district's superintendent then advised the Coviello to purchase everyday dresses and skirts at a retail store, which Coviello did, the ACLU said.

But after a few days, he was sent home with a note from his principal saying if he wore a dress, kilt or skirt, he could no longer attend school.

2006-01-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

This is just wrong!!! I dont think it even violates the "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" rule!!! All the appropriate parts were covered, were they not???

8 Nabbed for No Pants Subway Ride in N.Y.

(Sun, Jan/22/2006)

NEW YORK - From the waist up, they looked like perfectly normal commuters. That wasn't good enough for police.

Eight pranksters who dropped their pants and showed their underwear on the subway on Sunday were taken into custody and issued summonses for disorderly conduct. All were ultimately released, said Improv Everywhere, the group that organized the stunt.

The group said more than 160 riders participated in the fifth annual No Pants Subway Ride before police halted their No. 6 train about 5 p.m.

Charlie Todd, who founded Improv Everywhere in 2001, said it's not his group's intent to offend. He said he wants to create scenes of chaos and joy in public places around New York.

"It was our intent to make people laugh," he said. "We try to give people a great story to tell."

Todd, a teacher and performer, said the police overreacted when they turned a harmless event into something that inconvenienced lots of subway riders. A judge will determine whether those issued summonses will be punished.

---

On the Net:

Improv Everywhere: http://improveverywhere.com/

Article's URL:

http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/84-01222006-601596.html

I’ll send an S.O.S. to the world

2006-01-20T20:08:00.000-05:00

For some reason, while reading this, I had a Police song stuck in my head, and can't get it out!!!! But, this is a good story!

Alesha's British bottle bobs to Bob in Oz

Thu Jan 19, 1:57 PM ET

A four-year-old British girl was stunned to receive a reply to her message in a bottle from a boy in Australia, her nursery said.

Alesha Johnson chucked the bottle into the local Morecambe Bay on the northwest English coast in July. It contained a picture of herself and a brief message with her address.

"My name is Alesha. If you get this message, please write back," it read.

This week she gained a new friend when Bob, 10, from Perth on the Western Australia coast, wrote back saying he found her bottle in a local boatyard.

Alesha's surprised nursery manager Doreen Johnson said: "We were all very excited when the letter from Australia arrived addressed to Alesha. We never dreamed the bottle would go that far, it's amazing."

Bob wrote that he asked his father to look up Alesha's home town Heysham on the Internet.

He drew a diagram showing the distance between the two locations -- 9,000 miles (14,500 kilometres).

The boy did not include his own details as he was moving house but promised to write again when he knew his new address.

Copyright © 2006 Agence France Presse. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AFP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of Agence France Presse.

Not at this address

2006-01-19T21:43:00.000-05:00

Wonder if Ed McMahon will still deliver the millions???

Ananova:

Joker's last gag

A Swiss joker had his last wish fulfilled when his obituary was published as a change of address notice.

The obituary published in the Tages-Anzeiger newspaper read: "Change of address for Roland Jacob.

"My new address is the Rehalp cemetery, plot number 4276. I look forward to your visit."

Monkeyz n' da hood

2006-01-18T23:15:00.000-05:00

Must have been a need for a gang problem here if the monkeys have to fill the void!!

From the Cambodia Daily, Tuesday Jan. 10, 2006, page 16

'Gangster monkeys' a Menace, Neighbors Say

By Lor Chandara and David McFadden
The Cambodia Daily

A roving band of what one municipal official has dubbed "gangster
monkeys" has been swiping laundry, biting students and eluding police
across Daun Penh district in Phnom Penh.

Pich Socheata, deputy governor of Daun Penh district, said monday that
she will seek approval from City Hall to launch a campaign to capture
unruly, violent wild monkeys.

"We have to collect the nasty monkeys from the city. Otherwise they
will disturb visitors and people living in the neighborhood," she said.
"I have seen some monkeys grab glue bags from street kids and then they
climbed up trees and sniffed it up. That's why some monkeys become
violent and attack people."

Phnom Penh Governor Kep Chuktena,
however, dismissed the notion that
any of the macaques, which he said are
largely peaceful animals and
popular with tourists, have been
sniffing glue. "No, there are no
monkeys sniffing glue. Some become
violent because of sexual
motivations," he said.

Pich Socheata estimated that more than 200
wild monkeys congregate in
trees around Wat Phnom, the Ministry of
Commerce and the French school
Lycee Rene Descartes. Following recent complaints
 of monkey attacks on
members of the public, the Daun Penh district has
seized 15 macaques.

"We contacted the Cambodian authorities
to tell them that the
monkeys were in the vcinity of the school and were affecting the safety of
the students," said Claude Abily, French Embassy spokeswoman. "There have been
several instances of students who have been bitten."

John Daigle, spokesman for the US Embassy, housed across from Wat
Phnom, said the embassy has not contacted district officials about the
monkeys.

At Lycee Rene Descartes, an administrator, who said school
policy prevented her from giving her name, confirmed that a few students had
been bitten by monkeys coming on school grounds because of a fig tree,
which has since been cut down for that reason.


_______________________________________________
The #1 source for news about monkeys and apes http://www.monkeywire.org

Will you wipe the drool please nurse??

2006-01-17T18:58:00.000-05:00

Just goes to show, you never know what will happen when your strapped in a chair while wearing a bib!!!

I'm no dentist, but my girlfriend is -- open wide

Tue Jan 17, 9:02 AM ET

A British dentist has been banned from working after allowing her unqualified boyfriend to carry out dental work on patients in her surgery, the profession's UK regulatory body said Tuesday.

Mojgan Azari was found guilty of serious professional misconduct for letting boyfriend Omid Amidi-Mazaheri work at her practices in south London between 2002 and 2003, the General Dental Council (GDC) said.

The boyfriend worked on more than 600 people, drilling out cavities without local anesthetic and installing expensive fillings that crumbled within days, often leaving patients in agony, the BBC said.

The GDC said Azari had allowed him to carry on working in her surgeries for seven months after she had been warned that he was unregistered.

"The direct result of your actions was that a recall exercise involving several hundred patients had to be mounted, to establish whether they required further dental remedial action," the GDC said in its ruling.

"This caused the patients considerable distress and inconvenience, and cost the National Health Service (NHS) approximately 180,000 pounds ($317,000)."

The GDC said Azari had pleaded guilty in February 2005 to four counts of obtaining money by deception from the NHS in relation to the case and had been jailed for 12 months.

The BBC said Amidi-Mazaheri, an Iranian national, had received a two-year sentence for similar offences.

Consequently the GDC said its conduct committee had decided to strike Azari's name from the register.

"In view of the gravity of the offences and their effect in undermining public confidence and the damage to the reputation of the profession, the committee is satisfied that the only appropriate sanction in this case is erasure," it said.

Opps!! My Bad!!

2006-01-16T21:46:00.001-05:00

Note to self... Don't get hurt in S. Korea

Surgeons remove wrong body parts

From: Reuters

SOUTH Korean doctors mistakenly removed part of the stomach of a patient due to have thyroid surgery, while removing the thyroid gland of another scheduled for stomach surgery, a hospital official said.

The surgical mix-up took place at Konyang University Hospital in the city of Taejon, about 150km south of Seoul and involved two women in their sixties who were both in for surgery the same day, hospital spokesman Kim Man-sik said.

Medical staff found out about the mix-up, which took place on December 29, only after they were filing paperwork on the two women, he said.

Doctors later performed the correct surgical procedures on both women and re-attached the part of the stomach they had removed from the patient with the thyroid problem, Kim said.

Both were recovering from their operations, he said.

Guilty verdict.... after this nap.

2006-01-16T21:46:00.000-05:00

I bet next she will be getting credit card offers!!!

Toddler Called For Jury Duty

TAUNTON, Mass. -- There was a problem when Kaylee Reynolds recently received a summons to serve on a jury.

She wasn't nearly old enough to read it.Reynolds is just 2 years old, giving her 16 more years before she's old enough to be called to jury service.

Not to worry, said Massachusetts Jury Commissioner Pamela Wood. Reynolds will get a 16-year grace period.

Wood guesses a mistaken birth date on a census form probably led to the erroneous summons to serve on a Taunton District Court jury.

Besides her questionable understanding of the concepts of guilt or innocence, there are other reasons why it's best to wait for Kaylee to serve. Her mother, Patricia, said Kaylee gets really cranky if she doesn't get her noontime nap.

He will survive.

2006-01-13T23:52:00.000-05:00

I think I have found the funniest video ever made and posted on the internet. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Warning, it may offend some. If it does, go to ebay and see if you can buy a sense of humor.

Click to laugh your ass off.

You'll poke someones eye out with that!!!

2006-01-13T20:43:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling that once she can see, that toy is gonna get place right where it belongs!!

Woman Has To Get 6 Stitches After Hit With Sex Toy

Man Convicted Of Domestic Violence

AKRON, Ohio -- A sex toy landed a local man in court Tuesday.

A Summit County jury convicted Excell Bradley, of Barberton, of domestic violence for throwing what the prosecutor called a large sex toy into the eye of a woman with whom he lived, NewsChannel5 reported.

Police said Bradley's across-the-room toss of the sex toy caused enough damage to require six stitches to the woman's eye.

While bleeding and with blurry vision, she called 911, WEWS reported.

Bradley admitted to Barberton police that he threw the toy.

2006-01-12T22:41:00.000-05:00

Now see, this is one guy is by the people, for the people!!!

Satanic vamp for Governor

From correspondents in Minneapolis

From: Reuters

MINNEAPOLIS voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.

"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey said. "I just hate God the Father."

However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.

Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."

"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined.

Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy on Friday – the 13th – because that was "my lucky number."

Don't monkey around with Stalin!!

2006-01-11T22:25:00.000-05:00

Stalin's half-ape supertroops

By Nick Buchan

From: NEWS.com.au

Stalin's dream ... Planet of the Apes / 20th Century Fox

A SECRET plan to create hordes of half-man half-ape super-warriors to conquer the rest of world has been uncovered in Moscow.

If successful, the plan would have seen humans and chimpanzees cross-breeding to create a new race of "living war machines", which ignored pain and fear and which thrived on hardship.

According to The Scotsman, the program was instigated by Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin in the early 1920s. Stalin saw the scheme as an integral part of his plans to consolidate power and rapidly boost the Soviet Union's flagging power and prestige on the world stage.

The stakes were high - Stalin's battered Red Army had been gutted by years of civil war and internal purges. There was also intense pressure to find a new labour force, particularly one that would not complain, with the Soviet Union about to embark on its first Five-Year Plan for fast-track industrialisation.

Stalin threw scientists and other genetic experts into the program, providing lavish resources and funding in a bid to achieve early results.

"I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat," Stalin said, quoted by Moscow newspapers.

His cronies were not slow in supporting him. In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine".

The Soviets drafted their top animal-breeding expert into the program. Ilya Ivanov, who previously had set up the world's first centre for the artificial insemination of racehorses, set off for West Africa to conduct his first experiments in inseminating chimpanzees.

Meeting little success, Ivanov turned his efforts around, setting up a facility in Stalin's home republic of Georgia to fertilise human volunteers with monkey and ape sperm. Not surprisingly, the efforts were a total failure.

All up, his efforts cost the impoverished Soviet Union many hundreds of thousands of dollars.

For his expensive failure, he was sentenced to five years' jail, later commuted to five years' exile in the Central Asian republic of Kazakhstan.

A year later he died, reportedly after falling sick while standing on a freezing railway platform.

Do try this at home!!

2006-01-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

These seem like some pretty good ideas!!! I will have to start trying them!!

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer, and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

And lastly, remember this---
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, CONGRATULATIONS!! You get another chance!!

Its gettin hot in herre....... So lets keep our clothes on

2006-01-11T01:07:00.000-05:00

Somewhat reminds me of high school!!!

Naked-marriage-sex ban

From correspondents in Cairo

11-01-2006

From: Agence France-Presse

AN Egyptian cleric's controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.

According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University's faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), "being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage".

The religious decree sparked a hot debate on the private satellite network Dream's popular religious talk show and on the front page of Al-Masri Al-Yom, Egypt's leading independent daily newspaper.

Suad Saleh, who heads the women's department of Al-Azhar's Islamic studies faculty, pleaded for "anything that can bring spouses closer to each other" and rejected the claim that nudity during intercourse could invalidate a union.

During the live televised debate, Islamic scholar Abdel Muti dismissed the fatwa: "Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy."

For his part, Al-Azhar's fatwa committee chairman Abdullah Megawar argued that married couples could see each other naked but should not look at each other's genitalia and suggested they cover up with a blanket during sex.

Bet Ya Didnt Know

2006-01-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

posted at Daves Daily

1. Polar bears are left-handed.

2. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

3.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

5. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

6. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

7. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

8. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

9. Butterflies taste with their feet.

10. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

12. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

13. Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.

14. A cat's urine glows under a black light.

15. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

16. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

17. Starfish have no brains.

18. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

19. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Crazy Bout A Mercury

2006-01-02T21:51:00.000-05:00

Forget the hybrids , I want this car!!!

With this bone, I thee wed...

2006-01-02T20:39:00.000-05:00

I like this idea MUCH better than the traditional gold band.

With this bone, I thee wed

From correspondents in London

03-01-2006

From: The Australian

COUPLES are turning to the laboratory to create "biojewellery" - bone rings grown from their DNA as a token of their love.

In an extreme test of devotion, they must submit to the removal of wisdom teeth and the extraction of a fragment of jawbone. A team has won ethical approval for the procedure, which is attracting commercial interest.

Tobie Kerridge, a British Royal College of Art research fellow and co-inventor of the idea, said it would cost about $11,700 to produce each ring.

Matthew Harrison, 25, who with his girlfriend, Harriet Harriss, 32, is to exchange rings, conceded that others might find it "disgusting".

But Mr Harrison, a product designer from London, said: "I see it as a set of biological connections instead of something like marriage, a legal connection." Ms Harriss described it as "incredibly poetic".

They are among four couples selected from hundreds of volunteers who will undergo the procedure at Guy's Hospital in London. Scientists, led by Ian Thompson of King's College, London, will use techniques pioneered for growing tissue outside the body.

Cells from a fragment of jawbone will be "seeded" on a ring-shaped scaffold structure, where they will grow for six to eight weeks.

The bone sample will then be crafted into a ring by Nikki Stott, a jewellery designer at the Royal College of Art.

Mr Kerridge has received an inquiry from an American venture capitalist, but the team has no plans to cash in.

From The Sunday Times of London in The Australian

Another version here if you want more info

Happy Naked Year!!

2005-12-31T23:33:00.000-05:00

A year in crime

2005-12-30T22:42:00.000-05:00

Click HERE to see all the top 15 Mugshots from the Smoking Gun

Dont hold it in!!

2005-12-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

Now there will be long lines at the Mens Room!!

2005-12-28T19:04:00.000-05:00

Its about time we started moving to unisex bathrooms!!! Now I wont get yelled at for leaving the seat up. Can also not take all the blame for the seat being wet! I just would like to know what mens bathrooms are cleaner than womens???

Device for women to pee standing up

December 26, 2005

A PHYSICALLY challenging feat – women peeing while standing up – is now easily achieved thanks to a funnel-like device, its manufacturer claims

Brisbane-based company WhizBiz today said "The Whiz" fits snugly against the body to enable women to "take a stand" like their male counterparts and avoid smelly public toilets and long queues.

Invented two years ago in the United Kingdom, The Whiz is coated in an anti-bacterial agent so that it does not have to be cleaned and is reusable, WhizBiz spokesman Lachie Campbell said.

"It is coated with a high-tech plasma film developed by the British Army which repels fluid meaning women can pee, flick once to dry and stuff it in their handbag," Mr Campbell said.

He said the device had been trialled at music festivals such as the Big Day Out.

It was also suitable for women while they were camping, backpacking and holidaying where there was no access to toilets, or if they had bad backs, he said.

"Women can urinate standing up, anywhere that a male could with a more dignified and less exposed way than squatting because you can't find or wait for a toilet," Mr Campbell said.

AAP

This report was published at dailytelegraph.news.com.au

This shows you how to use it. Kinda interesting, you think??

I've got my eye on you!!!

2005-12-26T20:06:00.000-05:00

I wanna know who is watching my blog. Email me, IM me, Snail mail me, make a comment. Do somthing!!!! Just remember, I will keep my eye out for you!!!

This is me watching you!!!<--Click it

Dont make me take the other one out!!!

What the f___ is the internet??

2005-12-22T23:31:00.000-05:00

We all know that it isn't polite to use the "F" word! There are only ten times in history the "F" word has been acceptable for use:

10. "What the f___ was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Look at all them f___ing Indians!" - Custer, 1876

8. "Any f___ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so f___ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926

6. "How the f___ did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the f___ are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered f___ing showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the f___'s going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1997

And number 1 . . . . . . . drum roll . . . . .

1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this f___ing mad." - Osama bin Laden

Thanks Lyn and Phylis!!

Lets get naked for Jesus!!!

2005-12-18T22:38:00.000-05:00

Now I guess we need to make things equal and have a naked Satinist camp, naked Jewish camp (those guys should be easy to point out!!), a naked Wiccian camp, naked Kaballah camp (could Madonnna be the leader??), naked Hindu camp, naked Scientoligist (Go Katie!!!)..........

Christians to get naked

By Tony Allen-Mills

19-12-2005

From: The Australian

America's first 'Christian nudist camp' will soon open its doors for business / file

IN the beginning was the word of God and God never said anything about brassieres or boxer shorts. Thus was born Natura, America's first Christian nudist camp.

After two years of biblical debate over Adam and Eve and their fig leaves and whether or not nudity is sinful, a 67-year-old Quaker grandfather is preparing to open a modern-day Garden of Eden 65km north of Tampa, Florida.

Bill Martin's ambitious plan for an 80ha Christian-oriented Family Naturist Village has survived legal challenges, doctrinal disputes and a plague of internet prudes. Land is now being cleared for the opening next year of what may become the world's only Christian community to feature nude volleyball.

Despite howls of complaint from fundamentalists who have likened Martin to the Antichrist - and described his nudist plans as "graphic evidence of America's moral collapse" - Natura intends to build 50 houses around a non-denominational church where clothing for services will be optional.

He has fought with his neighbours over property rights, fallen out with other nudists over his promotional material and sparked a vigorous internet debate over whether the true path to godliness really involves getting naked.

Yet Martin remains confident that Christians will flock to Natura to experience the spiritual benefits of a lifestyle "free from body shame". He is spending more than $US2million ($2.68million) on a nudist recreational complex that will also feature a hotel, campsites and a children's water park.

(Entire story here)

Even worse Santa

2005-12-18T21:21:00.000-05:00

Not really much I can say about this, kinda explains itself!!

Drunken Santas run riot in Auckland

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- A group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus outfits, many of them drunk, went on a rampage through Auckland, New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores, assaulting security guards and urinating from highway overpasses, police said Sunday.

The rampage, dubbed "Santarchy," began early Saturday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an overpass, said Auckland Central Police spokesman Noreen Hegarty.

She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage containers, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on office buildings.

One man climbed the mooring line of a cruise ship before being ordered down by the captain. Other Santas, objecting when the man was arrested, attacked security staff, who were later treated by paramedics, Hegarty said.

The remaining Santas entered another downtown convenience store and carried off beer and soft drinks.

"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," store owner Changa Manakynda said.

Two security guards were treated for cuts after being struck by beer bottles, Hegarty said. Three people, including the man who climbed on the cruise ship, were arrested and charged with drunkenness and disorderly behavior.

Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was a worldwide movement designed to protest the commercialization of Christmas.

I think I need a new coffee table

2005-12-17T00:31:00.000-05:00

Yeah, its about time I get some new furniture. Wonder if there is a endtable that has a great place to slide your remote into???

Story stolen from http://www.ananova.com

Ananova:

Erotic furniture fad

Erotic furniture based on the female body with boobs for doors and bums for drawers is the latest fad in Holland.

Cabinet maker Mario Philippona has designed a range of stylish wooden cupboards, wardrobes and tables using the female anatomy as his inspiration.

His pieces include a wine-glass cupboard in the shape of a pair of large breasts and a table supported by legs moulded from a female model.

Philippona said: "The shape of a woman, her organic architecture, combined with my passion for wood inspired me to sculpt these sexy designs."

His furniture is featured on his website, www.sexyfurniture.nl.

Ho... Ho.... Ho????

2005-12-16T01:30:00.000-05:00

A quick funny

2005-12-13T00:24:00.000-05:00

Confessing Husband

This guy gets home, plaster-assed drunk, and stumbles into the bedroom, which wakes his wife. She notices he has a duck under his arm, and as he stands there, swaying side to side, he mutters "This is the pig I've been sleeping with"
His wife, disgusted by the condition he's in, says "You dumb ass. That's a Duck"
He says, "I wasn't talking to YOU"

Is that a tube of toothpaste, or are you happy to see me???

2005-12-08T20:32:00.000-05:00

Guess you never really know where your groceries have been before you purchase them!!

BERLIN (Reuters) - Police in Germany arrested a shoplifter who filled his trousers with 39 tubes of toothpaste, authorities in the western town of Dueren said on Wednesday.

Police said store detectives in a supermarket chased the 37-year-old man after they saw him stuff the tubes into his pants, and forced him to hand over the goods.

It wasn't long before the toothpaste was once again available to customers.

"As far as I know, it was back on the shelves soon after," a police spokesman said.

2005-12-08T20:19:00.000-05:00

I thought those English didnt have a problem with nudity!! I know I would love to be naked while I worked!

Naked and proud train engineer fired

LONDON, Dec. 8 (UPI) -- A train engineer in England has been fired for taking a photograph of himself naked while working and sending it to a colleague over his cell phone.

The unidentified man was running a train at 125 mph between London and Sheffield when the picture was taken, Sky News said.

"The driver has now been dismissed," said a Midland Main Line spokeswoman. "Safety is, and always will be, our main priority."

Meanwhile, The Sun reported it wasn't an isolated incident.

The newspaper said a number of drivers have reportedly taken up the hobby of stripping down before passing other trains, and encouraging fellow engineers to look at them as they speed past one another.

I would have went to see Santa for this!!!

2005-12-07T00:39:00.000-05:00

Hot-Pink Thong Bothers Families Visiting Santa

ROANOKE, Va. -- Santa is keeping a secret -- a Victoria's Secret.

Some parents didn't like the idea of the young'uns seeing the skimpy underthings while visiting a mall Santa in Virginia. Now, there's a black curtain between Santa's chair and the Victoria's Secret store at the Valley View Mall in the Roanoke area.

Victoria's Secret has been featuring a window showing a leggy mannequin in a hot-pink thong and a bra. The theme of the display is "Give Me Sexy."

Mall spokeswoman Mandy York said they have no control over what Victoria's Secret puts in their window. But she said the black curtain seems to have satisfied the concerns of parents.

2005-12-05T21:43:00.000-05:00

Erotic moments from Bible...

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German Protestant youth group has put together a 2006 calendar with 12 staged photos depicting erotic scenes from the Bible, including a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson's hair and a nude Eve offering an apple.

"There's a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism," said Stefan Wiest, the 32-year-old photographer who took the titillating pictures.

Anne Rohmer, 21, poses on a doorstep in garters and stockings as the prostitute Rahab, who is mentioned in both New and Old Testaments. "We wanted to represent the Bible in a different way and to interest young people," she told Reuters.

"Anyway, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that you are forbidden to show yourself nude."

Bernd Grasser, pastor of the church in Nuremberg where the calendar is being sold, was enthusiastic about the project which is explained online at www.bibelkalender.de. (BlackCrypts Note: Site has since been removed cause apparently there was a disclamer on there that some of the models were under 18. Those crazy Germans!!!!)

"It's just wonderful when teenagers commit themselves with their hair and their skin to the bible," he said.

It will be officially launched at the weekend.

I'm dreaming of a treeless Christmas!!

2005-12-05T20:54:00.000-05:00

Good lord!!! The kids were learning, and some dumbass politician had to strike them down cause he has a problem with the scratch tickets. At least they are still calling it a Christmas tree and not a Holiday tree!!

Tree Decorated by Okla. Students Removed
By RON JENKINS, Associated Press Writer

A Christmas tree that elementary school students decorated with discarded lottery tickets was removed from the state Capitol over the weekend after a lawmaker complained it was inappropriate.

Rep. Randy Terrill, who opposes the lottery, said he spotted the tree on Wednesday when it was erected as part of the governor's annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony. The Republican lawmaker called the Westwood Elementary School principal, who apologized and asked the governor's office to remove the tree.

Sherry Fair, spokeswoman for Oklahoma City Public Schools, said the teachers and children did not intend to offend anyone. The teachers went to various convenience stores and got used lottery tickets, which were cut into various geometric shapes and placed on the tree.

"They had been studying about the lottery and understood that the lottery money benefits public schools," Fair said. "They came up with a theme about the gift of education."

Terrill said the principal had invited him to talk to students at the school.

Paul Sund, a spokesman for Gov. Brad Henry, said the governor's office had nothing to do with decorating the tree and referred questions to the school district. The office of the state school superintendent selects the schools that decorate the trees.

Copyright © 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

When movies take over real life

2005-12-04T21:47:00.000-05:00

Police find semi-nude man inside Pavilion

By David Kranz
Argus Leader

November 15, 2005, 3:17 pm

A Sioux Falls man is charged with indecent exposure after being found partially unclothed and lying on the floor with a female mannequin in the Washington Pavilion.

Michael James Plentyhorse, 18, xxx N. Dakota Ave., was discovered by a Pavilion security officer at 4:35 p.m. Monday in the Washington High School Alumni Room, police said.

The guard observed Plentyhorse with his pants and underclothing down and lying next to the half-naked female mannequin, a police report states.

“There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin. That’s the only way I know how to put it,” Sioux Falls police officer Loren McManus said.

Security staff at the Pavilion say they have noticed the same mannequin has previously been found undressed on several occasions, McManus said.

No drugs or alcohol appear to have been involved.

I wanna hear the Redneck Monkey!!!

2005-12-03T20:46:00.000-05:00

Ya'll want some nanners???

Monkeys have accents too, experts say

From correspondents in Tokyo

From: Agence France-Presse

TO the untrained ear monkeys of a certain species may all sound the same, but Japanese researchers have found that, like human beings, they actually have an accent depending on where they live.

The finding, the first of its kind, will appear in the December edition of a German scientific journal Ethology to be published on December 5, the primate researchers said.

"Differences between chattering by monkeys are like dialects of human beings," said Nobuo Masataka, professor of ethology at Kyoto University's Primate Research Institute.

The research team analyzed voice tones of two groups of the same species of primates, the Japanese Yakushima macaque also known as Macaca fuscata yakui, between 1990 and 2000.

One group was formed by 23 monkeys living on the southern Japanese island of Yakushima, and the other group comprised 30 descendants from the same tribe moved from the island to Mount Ohira, central Japan, in 1956.

The result showed that the island group had a tone about 110 hertz higher on average than the one taken to central Japan.

Monkeys on Yakushima Island have an accent with a higher tone because tall trees on the island tend to block their voice, Masataka said.

"On the other hand, monkeys on Mount Ohira do not have to gibber with a high tone as trees there are low," he said. "Each group adopted their own accent depending upon their environment."

This suggests differences in voice tones are not caused by genes, Masataka said, adding the results "may lead to a clue to the origin of human language."

Another follow up on the land story

2005-12-02T23:19:00.000-05:00

Developer Buys Square-Inch Property On eBay

SPENCER, Ind. (AP) - A Michigan real estate developer was the highest bidder for a square-inch piece of land in Owen County, shelling out $1,752.60 for the parcel in a wooded ravine.

Andy Gutman, chief financial officer with NAI Farbman near Detroit, had the highest of nine bids and won the postage stamp-sized property on eBay.

Bidding on the .0000000159 of an acre started at $1,224 - the amount owned in back taxes, interest and fees after the land went unsold during a recent tax sale.

The online auction ended Thanksgiving evening.

Owen County attorney Richard Lorenz said he'll make final arrangements on Monday to transfer the deed for the land southeast of Terre Haute.

The Associated Press left messages seeking comment Saturday at Gutman's office.

One of the unsuccessful bidders, John Jadamed, of Japan, said he had planned to carry the land in his pocket if he'd won the property.

"I know it was a lot of money for a little bit of land, but something about it made me laugh and want to buy it," Jadamec said in an e-mail to the paper. "I still think it would have been fun to own."

At the per-square-inch selling price, an acre of the land would have cost more than $7 billion.

After the land's back taxes are paid - along with the $35 listing fee for eBay - First National Bank in Cloverdale will receive $492.92.

The CEO of the real estate company Gutman works for jokes that the company is "contemplating subdividing" the property. It's about the size of a postage stamp.

Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

I was asleep!!! Honestly!!!

2005-12-02T20:05:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I don't buy into this story. But, if it is a real condition, it might help me out in the long run!! "Honey, I have a medical condition that makes me to that......."

Nah, probably won't work.

'Sexsomnia' defence works
By NATALIE PONA, SUN MEDIA

TORONTO -- It wasn't rape -- it was sleep sex.

In an unusual case in Scarborough court yesterday, Jan Luedecke was acquitted of sexual assault after a judge ruled he was asleep during the attack -- a disorder known as "sexsomnia."

"This is indeed a rare case ... His conduct was not voluntary," said Justice Russell Otter, as Luedecke's victim shook and sobbed then left the courtroom.

The judgement outraged women's groups.

"This is infuriating. It's another case of the courts not taking a woman seriously, adding yet another list to the list of excuses which men use for sexual assault," said Suzanne Jay, of the Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres.

Luedecke, a 33-year-old landscaper, met his victim at a party on July 6, 2003. Both had been drinking.

The woman, who can't be named, had fallen asleep on a couch. She woke up to find him having sex with her. She pushed him off then reported the rape to police. She didn't know Luedecke before that night.

WOKE UP ON FLOOR

Luedecke claimed he fell asleep on the same couch then woke up when he was thrown to the floor.

He only suspected he had had sex after using the bathroom and discovering he was still wearing a condom, court heard. He confessed to police.

During his trial, sleep expert Dr. Colin Shapiro testified Luedecke had parasomnia -- a disorder with symptoms such as sleepwalking. Shapiro testified Luedecke suffered from sexsomnia, which is sexual behaviour during sleep.

It was brought on by alcohol, sleep deprivation and genetics.

Luedecke had previously had sleep sex with four girlfriends, court heard.

The woman who accused Luedecke of raping her vows she will fight the decision to the Supreme Court.

"I believe the floodgates have been opened," she said. "This isn't the end for me personally. I have the means to pursue this to the highest level. I believe this case has set a precedent."

"For two years I have focused all my energy on this case. It's not stopping here," she said, in a phone interview yesterday afternoon. "I'm not a wimp but this has knocked me to my knees.

"I didn't think I could get back up for this -- but this isn't about me anymore, this is about society."

I feel ashamed to live in the same state as this guy.

2005-12-01T22:57:00.000-05:00

This is a VERY disturbing story, thats why I didn't post it on here, just the link. Be forwarned, it involves a very sick and fucked up guy. Not a story for the faint of heart.

Charges Against Teen Upgraded After Dog He Allegedly Raped Dies

Maybe they would have stayed for some cold beer!

2005-11-29T00:37:00.000-05:00

We need to get something like this going in the states!! There is not enough monkey appreciation going on around here!

Tourists Converge To Watch 17th Annual Monkey Banquet

LOPBURI, Thailand -- These were no party animals: Almost all the guests were too frightened to make an appearance, and the others ate and ran.

That didn't matter to the tourists who converged in Lopburi on Sunday to watch monkeys eat piles of fruits and vegetables during the 17th annual monkey banquet.

The party was thrown by local hotelier Yongyuth Kitwatananuson, who is thankful for the business the monkeys bring his city, 70 miles north of Bangkok.

The long-tailed macaques are regarded as disciples of Chao Pho Prakarn, a four-armed deity whose likeness is enshrined in the heart of town.

With such status, the monkeys are given free rein. They can be seen dropping peanut shells on street vendors, relieving themselves on curious onlookers and making merry on the electrical wires they use as footpaths. A sign at a local park says, "Beware of monkeys snatching your purse."

But Sunday's festival was a bust. The crowds and noise scared the monkeys off -- except for one or two dozen brave ones who stuffed themselves, leaving a terrible mess behind.

Leggo my Lego's!!!!

2005-11-26T19:07:00.000-05:00

I am almost 30 years old, and I still love Lego's, but this asshole took it to far!!! On a side note, anyone know where I can score some barcode stickers??

Reno Man Accused of $200,000 Legos Theft

Agents had to use a 20-foot truck to cart away the evidence from a suspect's house — mountains of Lego bricks.

William Swanberg, 40, of Reno, Nev., is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of the colorful plastic building blocks.

Swanberg was indicted by a grand jury in Hillsboro, a Portland suburb, which charged him with stealing Lego sets from Target stores.

Target estimates Swanberg stole up to $200,000 worth of the brick sets pilfered from their stores in Oregon, Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California. The Legos were resold on the Internet, officials said.

Attempts to reach Swanberg at a county jail, where he was being held on $250,000 bail, were unsuccessful. It was not known if he had retained an attorney.

Swanberg is accused of switching the bar codes on Lego boxes, replacing an expensive one with a cheaper label, said Detective Troy Dolyniuk, a member of the Washington County fraud and identity theft enforcement team.

Target officials contacted police after noticing the same pattern at their stores in the five western states. A Target security guard stopped Swanberg at a Portland-area store Nov. 17, after he bought 10 boxes of the Star Wars Millennium Falcon set.

In his parked car, detectives found 56 of the Star Wars sets, valued at $99 each, as well as 27 other Lego sets. In a laptop found inside Swanberg's car, investigators also found the addresses of numerous Target stores in the Portland area, their locations carefully plotted on a mapping software.

Records of the Lego collector's Web site, Bricklink.Com, show that Swanberg has sold nearly $600,000 worth of Legos since 2002, said Dolyniuk.

Lego's Danish founder Ole Kirk Christiansen named the famous bricks in 1934 by fusing two Danish words, "leg" and "godt" meaning "play well."

Children across the world spend 5 billion hours every year playing with Lego bricks, available in 90 different colors, according to the company's Web site.

___

On the Net:

Lego: http://www.lego.com

Don't eat the yellow ice

2005-11-19T22:59:00.000-05:00

The things us guys will do on a dare!!! I bet I might have done the same thing, and I also bet its been done a few times before!!

Student allegedly urinates in ice machine

The Associated Press
Friday, November 18th, 2005 01:51 PM (PST)

CARLISLE, Ky. (AP) - A Nicholas County High School student was suspended after he was accused of urinating in an ice machine that at least 31 people got ice from before the incident was reported.

Ben Buckler, chief of police for Nicholas County Schools, said another student dared the boy, who told officials he relieved himself in the ice machine in the gymnasium lobby just before physical education class Wednesday.

School law officials say charges will be filed, although officials were still trying to decide Thursday what to charge him with.

He was suspended for 10 days, pending an expulsion hearing.

Other students witnessed the incident, but it wasn't reported to Principal Doug Bechanan until Thursday morning. By the time the machine was taken out of service, some students and staff had taken ice from the machine.

School officials contacted the Department of Public Health in Frankfort.

"They said it was gross and morally wrong but not a health risk," Buckler said.

Health officials said urine is sterile because the body has its own filtering system. If any bacteria did make it through, the ice's temperature would have killed it.

But some students, parents and staff remained worried.

The Nicholas County School Board is picking up doctor bills "to ease the minds" of those who were exposed and want to be checked out anyway.

1st massage parlors, now tanning salons???

2005-11-19T22:37:00.000-05:00

Now it makes sense why video stores with tanning salons in them keep the skin flicks behind doors!!!

Police: No Tanning Beds at S.C. Salon

Fri Nov 18, 5:02 PM ET

Undercover officers noticed something conspicuously absent from a tanning salon — tanning beds. The only tanning bed on the property of VIP Tann Spa was found in a wooden box on the porch, officer Jerry Miller said Thursday.

Miller said the so-called tanning salon was actually a very different kind of business: Three employees and two customers were charged with prostitution and related charges after the undercover visit last month.

The undercover officer found makeshift beds and other evidence people were being paid for sex, Miller said.

Investigators took business receipts, credit card statements and cash before closing the salon. The County Council revoked the owner's business license.